Thursday, July 16, 2009

Help! Password needed to enter Masai Mara

I’ve been having some really wild dreams of late. In the dreams (it’s the same one always) I’m in this windowless room that looks like a gay Masai Moran’s boudoir, you know with fabulous wildebeest and zebra hides hanging on the walls and a sign above the door which says, ‘Welcome to Ole’s Maskan’ painted in red ochre. The ceilings are beautifully adorned with zebu cattle horns, extensive beadwork and flywhisks. In the dream I also see two bright eternal flames on either side of the room from burning pits of animal fats that Ole and I have just slaughtered (yeah don’t laugh I’m also a handsome warrior in the dream). Anyway we are just chilling out on the soft Molo-sheep skins with Ole while wrapped in our shukas (I never see his face but it’s not George, sorry George fans), we are sipping the traditional brew of muratina from a horn which is making us both horny. I don’t see any spears or clubs or machetes or such weapons just the fimbo he wants to show me. The lone cormorant perched on one of the zebu horns squawks but no other sounds.

Just at that part the dream goes grey and I get a computer screen asking for a password!! It’s ridiculous now but in the dream I always type in ‘manyatta’, No. Try ‘rungu’, No! Last chance and I always enter ‘lotikipi’ but it’s also incorrect and that’s when I wake up. George tells me I’ve been kicking out in my sleep. It’s been the same dream for the last three nights, what could it mean?

11 comments:

  1. you could also try... 'fimbo kubwa' or, 'moran moto moto' hihihi...
    the whole idea of a fly moran and a pimped out manyatta... damn... i need to talk to whoever directs your dreams!

    moran's current biggest fan!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It means you've been smoking something you shouldn't be smoking. Come to think of it, I wouldnt mind some of that s**t. Got any left? lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ok, how about we start with some basic questions. Is meditation still in progress? The one you started just yesterday? Have you been walking with hand in pocket all day?
    LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think it has to do with this new strong mattress.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good morning kahawaMoto,

    Thanks for the tips. I'll try and remember them because I don't want George to see my password lying around. How do you explain 'fimbo kubwa' and 'moran moto moto' ? lol! You are craaazy!! Have a great weekend ahead. xxxx

    Hi Anengiyefa,

    I hope that doesn't put you off coming to Masai Mara (the park); it gets complicated but let me just say that 'mara' also means intestines here. I shall so burn, burn in hell!!! Where is Father Pater Nostra when you need him? Have a fab weekend. xxxx

    Hi Mama Shujaa,

    This hand in pocket business all day is the one causing problems. Hahaha, 'that friday feeling', yippeee! Lovely weekend! xxxx

    Hi Mwistar,

    There should be a song..'strong new mattress under a starry night'..no? Ok, no. Have a wonderful weekend. xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lol Mwistar. It's the matress right? Had to be.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey vipi wewe nafikiri unataka mambo moto moto georgey boy kazi kwako

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Shiko-Msa,

    New mattress may have to go, it's like that nice man in the shop Patrick sprinkled genie magic. I think he said he was from Mombasa where most genie are alleged to come from ;)
    xxxx

    Hi Anonymous,

    Sijui nijibu nini! lol!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Try 'rungu moto' :-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Anonymous,

    'Rungu moto' ka ile ya watchie in the Bogi Benda cartoons? lol!! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  11. These password suggestions are killing me LOL

    ReplyDelete

Hey you, leave a comment but don't just be an asshole about it - try to be decent. That said you are welcome to heap abuse or ridicule if it makes you feel better. However in order to get published it must not be homophobic, racist or sexist. OK?