Weekend goss

My friend Sue (of the cock infamy) just rang to tell me about her weekend. She had a date with this new guy and they were having drinks canoodling at a popular hideaway near Athi River early Saturday evening. A small world away everything was going well, the mano was giving her the look that means today is today not tomorrow and making her feel all tingly from the back of her knees to her ears. Sue knew the deal was signed, sealed, delivered she was his but the spell was broken when a scraggy woman claiming to be wifey showed up in a gaggle of 3 other angrier females. Sue describes the wife as looking like a little rat with a tattered sack for a weave.

Anyway seems the guy didn’t have the balls to go with the promised cock he was meekly dragged away by the wife however not before downing his three-quarter Pilsner which Sue ended up paying for; in consolation at least she got a refund for the room. There was no biting or scratching or even spitting just some bone-breaking name-calling and credit to baba-watoto (baby-father) he managed to mouth ‘I’ll call you’ to a mortified Sue. All very civilised. Sad bit is that when shocked Sue went home to her flat, the electricity was out so she had a cold bath, brushed her teeth and lay alone in her darkened bedroom shivering in bed feeling humiliated and sorry for herself.

After all that her date called the next day to ask Sue if she was free and could he come over. His story is the other woman was an ex who’s a bit demented. Yeah right and they are all innocent in prison, la la la la la I’m not listening to you. Sue just said better you stay with your crazy ex if you come near me again I’ll cut your balls off.

Aaargh men!

Looking for a cock

You’re probably wondering what a bird’s doing on a gay man’s blog. Give me a moment all will be clear.

Recently I met up with an old friend Sue from back-in-the-day for a chat. She split up with her long term boyfriend Jeff four months ago. Over tea she pours her heart out to tell me how she’s lonely and looking for a male companion with whom she can once in a while also be intimate but no strings attached. I ask her what kind of man she wants and I’m shocked by her reply:

“I don’t care what he looks like so long as he’s got a nice cock!”

Poultry farmers queue here.