What would Jomo make of all this?

I'm sitting at home watching Live NTV showing Uhuru Kenyatta, son of Kenya's founding president, appearing at the Hague accused of crimes against humanity. Looks like the penny has just dropped...

'The Ocampo Six' released today at the Hague

A blockbuster featuring three Politicians, one Civil Servant, a Policeman and a Midget. Crimes against Humanity - shot entirely on location in Kenya. An Impunity Production by Tribal Films.

Kalonzo Musyoka has egg all over his face (I wish it was vomit)

Nationmedia are reporting that Kenya's bid to defer the ICC case against Kenya Ocampo Six (KeOS) is dead in the water as the US refuses to back VP Musyoka's representations. Welcome, though predictable news.

When the epitaph for Kenya's Vice President is written it should read: 'Here lies that backstabbing, snake-in-the-grass, hireling of bloodsucking vampires and poster child for impunity.'

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Decision Decisions Decisions - Help!

It’s nearing that time of year again when you MUST receive a card and at least a dozen blood-red roses or everyone in the office will conclude (rightly) that you’ve come to enjoy flying solo aka masturbation a little too much. Last year for Valentine’s, George treated me to an unforgettable night at a local restaurant. It cost him an arm and a leg, aaawww. Later we had some mind-blowing sex, nothing like it after a gourmet meal and a good Chablis. Oh, and he got me a prezzie as well. I figured this year I should do the treating.

At the moment I’m trying to decide which restaurant to book from here in the UK before I arrive in Nairobi later in the week because if I leave it till the weekend I’m not sure they’ll be any nice places left to go. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know either here or by email, it‘ll be much appreciated. I’m especially keen to hear from anyone who has tried Ole-Sereni or Rolf’s Place or even that new hotel in Westlands - Sankara. Restaurants I wouldn’t be seen dead in are the Carnivore (over-rated and so 90’s), Moonflower (bland food with eye-watering bills) and Trattoria (shouldn’t this place be taken off life-support?). I don’t mind, ahem, a complimentary from those establishments though, just to check out whether things have improved, hehehe. God, I’m so corrupt! This time I’m feeling braver unlike last year so we’ll definitely be out on the night with all the other lovebirds. Nothing in the law that says two men can’t enjoy a candlelit dinner on Valentine's. So, just looking for somewhere special with nice food and great ambiance that will guarantee me at least a week of sex afterwards.

George honey - if you read this post please try and act surprised when I take you out to dinner, ok sweetie?

My fellow Kenyans, this is why sometimes I feel suicidal

Prof Anyang Nyong’o is a Kenyan Cabinet Minister responsible for Medical Services. The Vision and Mission at the Ministry are ‘To be an efficient and cost-effective medical care system for a healthy Nation’ and ‘To promote and to participate in the provision of integrated and high quality curative and rehabilitative services to all Kenyans.’ Many Kenyans will tell you that those words are just a mirage of hot air rising from the arse crack of a civil servant. Hence the irony of Prof Nyong’o’s personal situation in an interview where he speaks candidly about his fight with prostate cancer in a world-class US treatment facility.

I wish the Minister well because I’m not heartless and I like to think that there’s some compassion still left in me. However I can’t help screaming: What hope is there for suffering Kenyans who can’t afford to pay for a costly evacuation abroad should they require specialist Medical Services?

Oh silly me! What kind of emotional question is that? I forgot that God helps those who help themselves.

Kenya Minister jokes about HIV/Aids while people are dying

Esther Murugi, Special Programmes Minister, finds much hilarity and merriment when discussing what should be done to combat the scourge. Please don’t get her started about men who have sex with men and HIV. That will be a ROFLHOLCBF - rolling on the floor laughing hysterically out loud collecting bird feathers - moment. She's one of the more progressive albeit confused Kenyan politicians. Sample this from just three months ago.

Oh dear me, seems like she is the one who should be put in quarantine for foot in mouth.

The woman magistrate who let a sex offender off the hook

Sylvia R Wewa. Remember that name because you might need to ask for her if you are ever on the wrong side of the law. She is Senior Resident Magistrate at Kaloleni Court who finds herself in hot water for disregarding pre-sentencing reports in the case of serial sex offender Kennedy Munga. The probation reports warned that the accused had not shown remorse nor accepted responsibility for the heinous crime of defilement. Instead of imposing a sentence guided by the law’s minimum of 15 years, Sylvia Wewa decided that a three-year probation was sufficiently severe. WTF. Disgust and revulsion don‘t begin to describe how I feel about this magistrate.

Luckily when the case came up for review before High Court Judge Mohammed Ibrahim he felt the same way and did the right thing. 15 years jail for the accused. YES!!!

Do you have any suggestions what suitable punishment should be meted on this Magistrate Sylvia Wewa?

Who do you think you are? Chuck Norris?

Disturbing video of a Kenyan driver and traffic policeman as they engage in fisticuffs. No winners here, all losers!

I’m tired of these men. Martha Karua for President 2012

Hi diary. It’s me, Tamaku. What have I been up to? Well, not much but I’m still here in England. George travelled back to Nairobi over the weekend because he said something about ‘work’, a function that is but a distant memory to me as I’m just a lady of leisure, lol! However lunch today was cod and chips, lovely and I need all the calories to keep me warm because I’ve got at least another couple of weeks in this country. Actually later this evening I’m travelling by train up north (Newcastle upon Tyne) to visit friends and freeze my balls off.

Anyway, so yesterday was the day when the Who’s Who of Kenyan society adorned clean underwear, black suits and dusted off mothballed hats to bid first-class farewell to the recently deceased Gerishon Kirima. If you were not at Kirima’s ’do’ then the sad reality that you must face up to is that you are nobody. I paid my respects on my last post. Pity that some of these so-called leaders forgot their brains at home. On second thought perhaps we should be thankful they did. This being a Kenyan funeral what better place for mirth and to score political mileage. Eh, the stupefaction of it all! Get in! I’ve been waiting to deploy that word for the longest time, lol! The ruckus was tooted off by ex-prezzo Moi, he of the Nyayo, ahem, ‘philosophy’ whom I’ve previously written fondly about here and here. And here. The man is not only guilty of much evil but now he’s also about to give me an ulcer and a repetitive strain injury. When he stood up to bore the mourners to death (sorry!) he was again like a broken record whining that the new Constitution which Kenyans voted for last year allows gay unions. Anthropologists will one day need to get this old man’s brain checked when he kicks it (hopefully not too long to wait) because it may provide the missing link between apes and humans. More stupefying (check, check) is how he managed to stay president for 24 whole years!???

Moi’s comments on gays and the Constitution were like a red rag to Prime Minister Raila who recently also etched himself in my bad books. Basically Raila - claws out - bays at Moi that no, the new laws don’t permit same-sex marriage. He chastises, go read it again to understand. Personally I think that was just so bitchy, have you seen the state of Moi’s cataracts lately? Raila doesn’t stop there though. Because he aspires to be a comedian after his political career ends he adds, ‘we have more women than men, why would any man want to hook up with another man?’ Crowd at funeral roll on the floor pissing themselves with laughter. Wow, Mr Prime Minister of Kenya, Honourable MP for Langata , African Union Mediator to Ivory Coast, cussin (sic) to Barack Obama, blah, blah, blah, how profound your reasoning. Someone (wifey Ida, please?) needs to tell Raila to just shut up and dip his fries in that drivel because he’s being a very naughty boy haemorrhaging supporters every time he opens his mouth on this gay issue.

Or maybe not. Let’s get to know Raila Amolo Odinga even more intimately. Not in that sense, the man abhors gays, hehehehe. We already know how he rewards loyalty, how he will kick a man in the nuts when he’s down on his luck. We now know where he stands when it comes to human rights. On the other hand you can’t fault elitist President Kibaki who doesn’t seem to have much time for a spot of gay-bashing. Perhaps he’s got too much on his mind like how to golf-club nagging First Lady Lucy to death while she’s asleep. Or dreaming of sucking a straw for White Cap lager at Michuki‘s pad watching some Beyonce on the ceiling cinema. Either way, roll on 2012 or whenever the elections will be, my vote will be Martha Karua for President. Hardly surprising as I was even subconsciously thinking about it back then. By the way dad, I told you Politics, English and History instead of Law would one day serve me well, see just how far I’ve come.

“I told you I was sick!” (RIP Kirima)

With the passing on of city tycoon Gerishon Kirima in South Africa where he had been taken for medical attention the public saga promised could see more twists and turns than the battle for the late Walter Kilele’s estate which took place years ago (google it). The opposing parties in the Kirima case will no doubt be locked in an epic scavenge over a billion-shilling empire. Someone’s been peddling lies about the assets being worth just 750 million, I smell an elaborate attempt to undervalue. Has Mr KRA been getting what’s due to him? Just a fleeting thought. Anyway some of the old man’s kids went to great lengths to gain exclusive access to their ailing dad, even isolating him away from other family members including the patriarch’s wife aka ‘evil, wicked’ step-mum Teresia Wairimu. Of course - silly me - it was never about the money so I’d expect the offspring to disappear back to their lives once the tears dry up and the funeral is over.

I think it was Katherine Whitehorn who noted The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any. I agree. She also wrote why do born-again people so often make you wish they'd never been born the first time? Uh-huh. I’m sure I’m not the only one who noted the clipped upper crust accents of the Kirima brood when speaking to the media. Some of them appear to have had more than their fair share of crusty pies judging by the ample bosoms and over padded derrieres. Seeing and hearing is believing. I’ve always understood it to be a parent’s duty to raise kids with the skills to go and live their own independent adult lives. Obviously daddy Kirima provided too well, the only problem is that he also took too long to die. Call me cynical but I think this appears to have caused some of the clan considerable angst wondering how long before they would get their paws on all that money. I’ve coined a term for it, it’s called Delayed Inheritance Syndrome or DIS. Most commonly afflicted with DIS are lazy, overweight and petulant middle-aged brats whose wealthy parents are past 70.

Example of use

Giddy: I’m so stressed out because I desperately need money to buy new ponies for my polo team. God, why is daddy taking so long to die?!! Now the doctor says I’ve got DIS!

Jon: Aaaah, Delayed Inheritance Syndrome. Bro - tell me about it…

Cos-Gay is no excuse, let’s make Kenya no country for ‘old men’

I’m sitting here in the toasty loft that is my brother’s study checking email and making sure I don’t miss out on any shenanigans back home. First of all I will gulp a cold Becks to GUG and Co for a well executed and successful legal challenge against that rolling rock - the one that buried itself forever deep inside the abyss of journalistic ineptitude when it chose to publish names and pictures of Ugandans it alleged were gay (relax, you won’t find a link here). Currently the sexy goddess of ethics & justice aka EJ appears to have her juicy butt spread tantalizingly over East African shores. How do I know? Well, I just heard her queefing good over the internet sheets, ok?

The other story that has got me all excited is that one of Ocampo’s Bitches - Industrialization Minister one ‘Heno Cosgay’ he of the dentistry challenged mandible may soon find himself getting in-arse-trialized at some remand facility aka Vaseline Chalets while awaiting his day in court on corruption charges. Unless his only friend Agwambo gets back from the rumble in Ivo with Gbagbo quick. Did you see and appreciate what I just did there, lol. I'm not thinking 'why don't you just pack your bags and go'. Forgive me for getting ahead of myself, but I don’t think I’ll be losing any sleep over this turn of events. My dear fellow Kenyans, I feel nothing! Henry Kosgey is the quintessential smeared-in-black-cotton-soil Kenyan politician. He has form which is well past it’s cull by date. Who in their right mind would even think this pig is suited to hold public office? Aaarrggh.

Please don’t even get me started on the festering Mudavadi-rot - Musalia, not Moses who‘s been dead a canny while. RIP Sir, but still naughty, naughty for playing with Moi. I also haven’t forgotten the Sam Ongeri ‘brouhaha’. Yikes, how far does this whiff go?!

Conspiracy theories and mango eating

Hey, we are still in Nairobi owing to the travel disruptions at
Heathrow Airport. Luckily we've just been told that we should be away
in the next couple of days. George and I are not complaining – it's so
hot in Nairobi you could fry an egg on my shiny forehead right now.

It's such a sad day for Nairobi after that deadly blast which cost
lives and horrific injuries, my commiserations. Meanwhile I overhead
someone at the sports club last night when the story broke out, saying
it could be the work of anti-Ocampo forces out to 'discourage' the
tenacious Argentine and his human rights' coterie from coming this way
anytime soon. I'm not in the slightest convinced but then again
stranger things have happened in these parts..

Anyway, we've just come back (my bf and I) from a walk to a nearby
kijiji (village) where we stopped for two deliciously juicy mangoes.
Each was as huge as a baby's head and only for 25 shillings. Aaaah,
these days in the sun are pure magic.

This chocolate starfish should be Ocampo's number 7 - Nominations for Kenya Analists Awards 2010

I read the news of one Ms Mugambi's ordeal at the hands of her former employer Booksfirst and the actions of general-manager Ann Randiki with much shock and equal consternation. Read about it here and let me know what you think. Thank God for the wisdom and mercy of a judge who found for the plaintiff. Lately the wheels of justice around here appear to be moving in the right direction. That - in this day and age - anyone in authority can treat an employee in such a crass, unreasonable and dictatorial manner while expecting to get away with it is just beyond me.

Booksfirst urgently needs to clarify the company policy with reference to these nauseating events. They can then proceed to sack the general manager and offer Ms Mugambi that job if at all she wants it. Btw, the Nuremberg Defense is as lame as Mugabe's libido even if his balls were to get tickled from behind all night by one of his sycophants. Uh-huh....which reminds me can someone please tell Mugabe to lose the Hitler-moustache, people might start to think he's a power-crazed despot.

The reported conduct of Ms Randiki can only be summarized as spiteful, malicious, cruel and repugnant. It has done some damage to the Booksfirst brand. Both make the fabulous Meryl Streep in the Devil Wears Prada, which we watched on Friday night TV, appear as meek as Mother Teresa. Therefore I would like to award Ms Randiki and Booksfirst joint Assholes of the Year. Dirty, dirty, vile and evil.

Kenyans accused of 'coordinated crimes against humanity' - displacements, rapes and killings

- Francis Muthaura, Head of the Civil Service

- Uhuru Kenyatta, MP and Minister

- William Ruto MP

- Hussein Ali, former Police Commissioner

- Henry Kosgey, MP and Minister

- Joshua Arap Sang, Journalist

These are the individuals said to bear the greatest responsibility.

Countdown

Good morning. Nairobi is cool, hardly above 21 degrees. George and I just finished collecting our new passports from Nyayo House. We are off to wintry UK in the next couple of days for Christmas and New Year. The entire process took just two weeks which was very efficient of the Immigration Ministry. I was pleasantly surprised to also learn that they are open weekdays from 7am to 8pm, great stuff and not a sneeze of a bribe. Kenya really is changing.

I just took this pic of I&M Bank building on Kenyatta Avenue walking to our car. People we are passing on the street don't seem too anxious about Mr Ocampo's impending announcement but George has already pointed out to me scores of alert plainclothes policemen.

Ten to midnight - the hour cometh (Yes, that's my final answer)

Nairobi, 14th December 2010. Night sky full of clouds looks like it'll be a wet night. DJ/housekeeper Imelda is getting our dinner ready while playing Yvonne Chaka Chaka's I'm Burning Up (are you ready). Before that we listened to Everyday the Same by Nine Inch Nails. My dear mummy came over earlier for lunch unannounced but that was still fab. I know I'm the favourite because she once whispered to me 'it's a parent's duty to always protect the weakest child'. That's her perception of me that I've since exploited most of my life, thank you very much.

At 1400 hrs tomorrow ICC Prosecutor Luis Moreno-Ocampo is set to name the six prominent Kenyans he wants tried for perpetrating, financing and masterminding Kenya's horrific post-election violence. William Ruto MP came back from a recce to Den Haag recently leaving political commentators confounded as to what he hoped to achieve. I liken it to the exploratory call you make to a buddy the day after a serious drinking session when you can't remember what you did. Anyway what's certain is that it was an opportunity to eat pancakes and buy cheese and clogs for his family. Once again absent-minded Kenyan journalists missed an opportunity at the return press conference to ask him if he's ever been to a gay bar. Christiane Amanpour would never have let that pass. Without a doubt this rockstar of Kenyan politics now besieged by the prospect of so much litigation, well, statistics say one of those charges may stick.

To those who care for my personal opinion can I just say that I have come to detest Mr Ruto's ways of introducing dangerous dimensions outside the rules of the game whenever he feels isolated. It's just not cricket. Please Father, Forgive Them - the crowd that went to the airport to give him a 'hero's' welcome - for they know not what they can't do. Lately Mr Ruto has taken on the look of a very scared pussy at the hands of merciless blood-sucking lawyers. Some analysts say he is also emerging as a weak chess player who has been wrongly advised to go for over-exposure. It's so easy to tell the politicians who got the least cuddles as kids because they just can't get enough of the limelight.

I'm reminded about the story of a sheep and a chicken who both lived on a farm. One day they heard the farmer's wife planning a big dinner party with friends. Chicken spent the evening mocking sheep saying that mutton infused with rosemary (the herb not the she, lol) would have to be the main course because it was a large gathering. However the next day the party was cancelled but the farmer's wife still decided to give her small family a treat. Yep, you guessed right - she served up coronation chicken for lunch. Moral of the story - warlords, you are the weakest link, now fuck off. I know, it's a little tenuous but I'm sure you still get my drift.

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Raila squanders decades of respect, reputation now in tatters as he topples himself from pedestal

I have been a lifelong admirer of Prime Minister Raila Odinga from his days as a human rights and pro-democracy activist. This is a man who has the scars that bear testament to the brutality and injustices of Moi’s repressive regime when he was ordered detained for years without trial. Raila has been feted home and abroad as a champion of causes that affect the marginalized and the neglected. Only a few weeks ago- I think it was during Mashujaa Day - he spoke convincingly of a New Kenya where citizens’ private lives would be free from the control of the State and we cheered him on because we thought here is a politician with depth.

That’s why the PM’s recent Kamukunji edict that police should arrest gays comes as a huge shock. Raila now risks being unmasked as a shameless circus-performer whose only ambition is to become at best a benevolent tyrant if he ever sees the presidency. He campaigned, as did many gay Kenyans, for a new constitution to enshrine individual rights and liberties but in essence he would rather reform our Police into a Gestapo-style organization snooping around its citizens’ bedrooms.

Therefore can the Prime Minister also issue a statement to clarify just how police are to identify homosexuals before arresting them? Will it now be an offence for two men to be enjoying a quiet drink together if none of them is married? Will police now patrol the estates in vans festooned with ‘Government of Kenya Rectal Exam Unit’? And if one is identified as homosexual will he be sent to the Kenyan colony on Mars since homosexuality is considered ‘unAfrican’ and 'unnatural'? I seriously want to put this whole saga to one side and accept it as just cheap politics and playing to the gallery in the week we heard about drug-trafficking government officials but I still can’t help thinking it is unethical conduct and most unbecoming of the office of Prime Minister.

A big monumental letdown. Why Raila, why did you do it?

Make this your new religion

Yesterday I met a young male friend who's also the stepson of a former colleague. It's a bit complicated because I once dated his mum but that was a long time ago. He was out with his girlfriend browsing through the foodcourt at the Village Market when we bumped into each other. Luckily for me I wasn’t looking too shabby, I was in my orange Aquascutum short sleeves and tight white tennis shorts which show off some of my assets. Of course with the mandatory Oakley shades. I said hey Eric, I haven't seen you in a while let's stop and catch a beer. We pulled up some seats and ordered a round. Eric's girl was having a glass of red. He introduced her to me, Sam this is the Tamaku I’ve been telling you about. I laughed and said hope most of it good and we shook hands.

So we chatted and I asked about Eric's parents. I particularly wanted to hear about his mum Kathleen, my ex. He said mum's doing fine her business even made it to Kenya Top 100 this year. I said cool, please do greet her for me. I was watching Eric and Samantha, the body language told me they were both madly in love (could be lust) and already doing it. I asked how long they'd been together and Sam looked at Eric and told me two weeks! Hmmm, I thought the honeymoon phase which means having sex four times a day just like the doses for Imodium when you've got acute diarrhea. They are both 18 and students at a city college.

Anyway we got carried away and before we knew it they had five drinks each, I patiently had a couple of bottles of mineral water because I was driving. Finally they got nearly cooked and finished the little money I had on me and I offered to give them a ride home. Sam sat in the front passenger's seat, her long thin fingers tapping on tight Guess jeans to sounds of P-Unit Kare. Then we listened to Lemar’s It’s Not That Easy...girl, I tried to get you off my mind, it's not that easy. It was only a short hop to Eric's parents' home where they both alighted. As I turned the car round something in the front passenger's footwell caught my eye. I reached down and picked up a packet of Postinor - that emergency contraceptive. It won’t stop diseases but it can cause women to have irregular bleeding and nausea. I knew this must have dropped from Sam's bag. I thought those two are definitely going to need this the way they're all over each other so I fished out my mobile and dialed Eric's number. He came back to the car quickly because they had only just gone through the gates. I said I think this belongs to Samantha. He took the packet of pills and gave me a shamefaced grin because years ago I'd had The Talk with him when his mum asked me to.

Last night before I drove off I looked straight Eric in the eye and said,'Son, you're just starting out in life. From tonight onwards better make it your religion to never go in without a skin!'

Daniel arap Moi is a lonely old man in need of a woman

'Ayatollah’ Moi recently joined the lynch mob baying for the scalp of Special Programmes Minister Esther Murugi who is reported to have called on Kenyans to shed their prejudice and exercise tolerance towards fellow citizens of a different sexual orientation. Not content with the mess his mismanagement cost our country, Moi's recent judgement calls clearly demonstrate just how out of sync the octogenarian ex-president is with the nation’s psyche. Esther Murugi, whom I'm glad to note made no apology, was making the connection between stigma attached to homosexuality and unchecked spread of HIV due to fear and ignorance. The self-styled professor of politics needs to sit under a tree and pick one of the pupils from the many Moi Primary schools littered across the land to join up the dots for him.

Moi's hatred for homosexuals may stem from a particularly unpleasant prostate exam, yes - even ex presidents over 50 are advised to get their trunk checked annually (gay men without boyfriends are known to insist on more frequent inspections, hehehehe) but you've got to relax - it's for your own good so bite on an index finger (yours, silly, not the doctor's) or rungu if you've got it with you and take it like a man. Ok, I accept it's difficult to teach an old dog new tricks. With wife Lena since departed (RIP), one may ask why doesn't Moi go and slaver over the ample bosom of a willing school ex-headmistress. Being mindful of other people’s welfare I agonised over Moi’s predicament and concluded it's time that Safaricom or other public spirited company sponsored a TV show called Help Find Moi A Woman Widow. Oh the bittersweet irony, after the assassinations of that regime! Sons Gideon and Jonathan would be judges along with Kenneth Matiba and Charles Rubia who were both incarcerated during Moi's era, just for balance. It would be a huge success especially given the matronly charms of a specific TV presenter. Catherine Kasavuli could you please agree to be host?! After all he's always commenting on gays but we've never seen a woman on his arm, ha! Don't just talk, Kenya expects.

What's painfully unforgettable though is that millions of Kenyans died from the Aids epidemic while the past regime had its snout and paws stuck in the trough of public resources. But we picked ourselves up and moved on stronger, that's why I can gleefully say that Moi like that other caricature Robert Mugabe is just another attention whore who's past his sell by date.

The problem with leaving everything to God

Once we finally got through the monstrous traffic jam along Outer ring road we were on our bouncy way along the scarred Kangundo road taking in the usual sights: grown man urinating on the roadside bushes just before Njiru and muguka-chewing matatu drivers at the helm of Isuzu and Toyota Hiace coffins.  But they were no match for cool cat Imelda at just below the max speed limit. Women are poor at parking but they are better drivers than men and speed is not what it’s all about. Imelda made me listen to Eminem ft Rihanna  Love The Way You Lie about 11 times that day, it's still playing inside my head even now.... Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's alright....ta tata tata.....

I vetoed her suggestion though that we stop at Mawe Mbili Resort Park just before the bypass junction at Ruai for some roast meat because I said, Mel at this rate I'll be hobbling with gout before I'm forty five then who will want me . So we had a break at Joska, at Two Stars Restaurant, (definitely NOT Michelin stars), I had chapati and beef soup while Imelda had rice and beef stew, but I shared mine with a photogenic fly which drowned not able to take off after binge-drinking my soup. Oh, before I forget, we also came across two road blocks manned by bent cops, they took a casual look at us and waved us through but we spied them shame their uniform taking a hundred shillings to also allow minibuses carrying excess passengers.  Petty Corruption is an infectious and difficult to cure disease festering in greed. Poor Africans like myself seem to suffer it most.These kleptomaniac cops prefer hosing down the blood of maimed and dead citizens from minibuses cabrioletted after they've collided with speeding lorries. Further up the road Imelda pointed out a lorry that had a sign painted on its tail, hanging at your own risk.
 
Anyway, we finally arrived at my friend  Nyiva's home near a place called Mbilini just before 1.30 pm. Nyiva is also an ex-colleague who is recovering from recent  serious injuries sustained riding pillion on a bodaboda (motorcycle taxi). She also got her left foot caught in the spokes and smashed her elbow in the subsequent crash. She's making painfully slow progress getting fed with a straw through wired jaw. Nyiva exhausted her savings paying hospital bills now her teen son is getting bored at home because mum can't afford his school fees. Police still haven't found the reckless rider who abandoned Nyiva bleeding in a ditch when it happened. Like so many Kenyans Nyiva only said just leave it to God.

So Imelda and I were both very quiet in contemplation on the way back to Nairobi. Nyiva's words kept running through my mind like ticker tape. Leave it to God. Afghanistan. Beltran Leyva Cartel and the drug war in Mexico.  Motorcycle tips passenger over in Kangundo.  God.