Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Tamaku is reborn and delivers first sermon!

Following this post where I was accused of being a devil's child, I have seen the light and changed my ways. Here to prove it is my first sermon. Thank you.

My dear brothers and sisters, let us today examine the issue of good morals and how we can maintain them for a good rewarding life:



~ Morals need rest. Ensure yours get at least 7 hours sleep every night.

~ Good morals thrive in a loving environment. Do try and have passionate ravenous sex every night with your spouse or partner even if they are not in the mood. Single people are allowed to visit local brothels to this end.

~ Children learn from what they see. Keep the likes of MTV viewing in your household to an absolute minimum and definitely never after 1am on school nights to avoid contamination of morals. Remember to keep your stash of hardcore porn locked away.

~ Exercise is crucial for good moral life. It is recommended that you exercise yours frequently by engaging in arguments whenever morals are discussed. It’s the one time you are permitted to punch someone in the face.

~ Beware of imitation morals or those sold by hawkers. Only purchase yours from a licensed vendor and keep all receipts as any refunds or servicing will only be on production of a valid receipt. Imitation morals tend to break down more frequently.

~ Trying out of morals before you buy is forbidden.

~ Healthy morals for men need a balanced sexual diet. Ensure the wife understands this. If she doesn’t get it, try knocking her around the head now and then. But do it lovingly. It may be she has loose morals something a firm hand will tighten. It’s the second time you are permitted to raise your hand.

~ Women’s morals will take whatever they are given; no need for variety.

~ You may need to upgrade your morals in the future. This can only be done from your priest. Do whatever he/she asks including offering money or sex to move up the moral hierarchy.

~ It is immoral to charge your morals to the bank for a loan.


There ends this teaching.

12 comments:

  1. Amen, Amen, I love prudent reminders during the homily!

    The devil is always lurking...sometimes lunges and I've been known to be pounced...I'm not as artful at dodging than I once was...ah, sweet misery of mature life.

    I'm in the U.S. for weeks more...I'll be changing locations regularly but so far the standard of hunkiness seems to be running on high (even during the recession some things apparently don't receed).

    Thanks be to God

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  2. morals, morals, omg i think im void of morals.

    crap im screwed.

    XXX

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  3. Tamaku, am in love with you.

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  4. Tamaku,

    Who is the priest among us? You like so have stolen my thunder! (sound like handa)

    I am looking forward to some (dumb) people who have taken your sermon to the letter. I am a priest people and is looking to be offered anything-money, food, cars, your bodies-to upgrade your morals.

    'Father Tamaku.' Hmmm, has a ring to it. (-:

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  5. Hi sweetie, are you ok? Let me know.

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  6. Thank You Father, I feel so blessed today.

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  7. Hey Leonardo,

    Lucky for some. Enjoy the blessings that have been sent your way, I'm not jealous (that's 'eval' and now I'm just trying to be good)....xxx

    Hey Spyke,

    Haven't seen you for a long time in these parts! Never mind you can start accumulating morals slowly...1/8 at a time...xxx

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  8. Hi Anonymous,

    That's so nice to hear. I love you too, just don't know your name. xxxx

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  9. Hi Pater Nostra,

    I'll send the people your way when they need upgrading. I'm sure the men will be in good hands..xxx

    Hi Anne,

    Hi honey, I'm ok. Just a crazy day! xxxx

    Hi Haute Haiku,

    You're most welcome....that's our little secret don't tell anyone. xxx

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  10. Tamaku, you can call me Gemini. Currently contriving my ambuscade. Soon :) (Anon)

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  11. Hi Gemini,

    Let the games begin (;
    xxx

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  12. I just had lunch at a lovely Hotel with a Transgender person (that was a first for me)...fascinating, up close conversation...he/she told me that over 90% of Transgenders are straight!

    I'm confused.

    Off to the Theatre tonight to see the 20th Anniversary, one night extravaganza nationwide, of Forever Plaid (my cousin, male, and his husband are half of the cast)...curtains up!

    Amen!

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