City packages swell in tight squeeze

Sorry to disappoint but I’m not bringing news of a pay increase. Rather I’m speaking up for all the long-suffering gals and boys of Nairobi who now brace themselves whenever they see friends approaching them on the streets. It’s been catching on slowly but it’s now at pandemic proportions this need for pals and even casual acquaintances to stop and hold each other in a lovers’ cinch while air kissing mwah, mwah (so last year darlings). Problem is, now the squeezes are getting tighter the hug has morphed into erotic caressing, longer and lower as hands explore, temperatures rising (must be the cold). I think perverts relish these encounters to initiate foreplay on the pavement, grinding a stiff one against a cornered pelvis and groping at butts just to say, ‘how are you’. Well, well look what we have here! I'm in no doubt just how happy you feel to see me. It’s mostly the men, I’m yet to be stabbed by a woman’s bits like say a sharp nipple. Lol! At times the hug looks like someone is being held while having their back scrubbed!

Please friends when we meet just nod or if we have to then let’s shake hands. As for the hug let’s keep it that, not a sample of what you’re packing! Boys, boys.