Do I look fat in this?

I get this question all the time from girlfriends. Whenever we meet
over tea or other beverages they'll always find the moment to slip in
this question. I'll say that's a stunning frock with matching handbag
you've got girlfriend, suits you and Rita (size14 with 2 girls on the
go) or Lillian (married, plump, timid when you first meet her but is
really a sexual predator frequenting massage parlours for anonymous
sex), they'll ask: 'Tell me Tamaku, do I look fat in this?'

I've learnt my lines well and always reply, 'No honey, you look
beautiful. Just beautiful.'