Someone needs a doctor (this is the end of Lavish living)

Monday night 7th March I was driving home at about 9pm listening to The Jump Off on Homeboyzradio, hosted I think by Corine. By the way Corine is a killer DJ with mad skills if you like your r n b and rap. I was in my white shirt and tie from a meeting but now feeling like a gangster listening to Black & Yellow, Eminen ft Dr Dre, and the ilk of Rihanna, etcetera etcetera. I can still hear Dr Dre in my head - I started this gangster shit and this the motherfucking thanks I get. And, Ring Ding Dong. I bet you only true aficionados will appreciate Me Against The world and What You Won't Do For Love by Tupac. But the best poetry ever must be from Tupac - you claim to be a playa but I fucked your wife. Ouch, Biggie that must have hurt. Before I forget, Nate Dogg, who went to be with the Creator 15th March 2011; RIP son, you were the true regulator. People in my professional circles would be dismayed to discover my tastes in music, lol. Sorry to digress but DJ Corine always sounds extra perky, sassy like she's clenching a mechanical rabbit to death. For the record I love a girl without a speed governor who knows girls should also enjoy sex by taking control and going on top. Factual. Yes, indeedy I do.

I was feeling very horny about Gee and me, reminiscing how things were so sweet between us before Lavish and the way I messed up. My team members at work say I've become a real arsehole to be around. I know it's only because I haven't had any gay sex in 2011 although I had an ego boost boning one of Kenya's finest - Lavish Maingi. As a result my confidence is now at sky-high, I feel like I have the world at my feet. On the home-front George and I are now on 80% normal talking terms but still sleeping apart. We got stewed together Saturday night on Skyy vodka and cranberry juice while re-watching a DVD of that disturbing American comedy Testees. If you haven't watched it then I suggest you do so asap, it's one of life's sexless orgasms. That night we started to reconnect again, we cuddled together on the floor wrapped inside a sleeping bag. I was disappointed because nothing happened to quench my fleshly desires but we did kiss and the passion is still there. I guess my recent badness is still a sore point with Gee but I'm working on fixing things. The healing process may take long but I have hope as luckily for me Gee is a fair man who knows that deep down I'm not evil, I'm only human.

So last week after I passed the Village Market guess who called me? You won't believe it but it was partner in crime Lavish. She had come down to Nairobi for the Ce'cile show and she'd called me on Saturday morning saying she wanted to take me to the concert but I said no baby I've got to try fix my relationship and atone for my mistakes. Also I'm a coward who heeded the Police Commissioner’s warning about possible al Shabaab attacks where crowds are gathered. In fact my sixth sense tells me an event is imminent; not if, but when - so be extra vigilant especially where Westerners frequent. That said, sources tell me there was at least a platoon of armed GSU on standby at the Carnivore.

When Lavish called she said hi I'm at the hotel lying in bed naked drinking brandy and my body is on fire, I need you now. I said no Lavish please leave me alone and find someone else to put out those flames. Reader, please proceed with caution: Then she said I'm so wet touching myself, I need to feel you. She said I want you here now to cum and make a baby then I'll leave you alone. Of course everyone knows I enjoy sex and don’t buy that nimechill bullshit, but 'thou shall not engage in casual skin to skin' is my 11th Commandment. That's when I finally concluded that Lavish is a bit of a nutcase and not worth all the trouble. Before I switched my mobile off I said sorry but you want to bareback just like that?! WHAT WE HAD IS FINITO. You're crazier than even I can handle; baby you seriously need to see a doctor....

Jesus & Judas (Go to Simba Soul)

The past week has been hellish. After George pronounced the death of our relationship I begged and begged him to forgive me and reconsider but it was soon clear his mind was made up. I even employed the diplomatic culinary persuasions of Imelda but still he would not budge. The way to this man's heart is definitely not his stomach. Contrary to what many people thought, this new chapter in our life did not mean that George was severing contact with me. Luckily for me, my ex (sounds weird to me, I think I'm still in denial like Gaddafi) has only moved across the hall into another bedroom. I feel sad but also happy that George was confident in the depth of our relationship to still count me as a friend for life if not part of the family. We've traveled a long bumpy journey together I just hope we can navigate this rough patch and emerge wiser if not patched up. Thankfully God exists because here in Nairobi we are enjoying excellent weather after the frightening rainstorms of just two weeks ago. To those of you in the northern hemisphere, let me tell you that I never knew warmer wall to wall sunshine nor powder-bluer skies. I'm looking around for a hammock; fingers crossed by the time I find one, George will agree to lie in it with me. After all what's the point of a hammock if you can't be uncomfortable in it with the person that you love?

I've coped with the breakup by working really hard on an interesting client brief which has meant paths crossing with brilliant people I previously worked with including bff Sheila. Motherhood definitely suits her, and my officially soon-to-be godson baby Matt is coming along a treat. We work till 10 pm most days, by the time I get home George is already tucked away in his room. I can tell he's waiting for me to come home because his bedroom lights only go out when I climb the last step on the stairs and open the door to what used to be our room. Thursday night I tapped on his door and whispered goodnight. Gee was quiet for like two minutes though I heard our favorite Ce'cile cd playing softly...love you when you're gone. Then he said slowly sweet dreams, honey! My heart skipped some beats to hear his sexy drawl, I think there's more than a spark there, perhaps still some smoldering embers. For now I just curl up naked in bed where George used to sleep, tossing and turning tortured that he's only sleeping next door. I cover my face with one of his t-shirts sniffing his scent and soaking away my streams of hot regret tears. With my old tattered Raymonds Polar Bear blanket from my childhood wrapped round the pillow I manage to fall asleep just before 3 am. It's not ideal and I'm beginning to notice that I'm not firing on all cylinders by mid-afternoon. If it carries on like this I'll get myself off to Dr Njenga's for a prescription to help me sleep easier. The project I'm working on has a lot riding on it leaving no room for stupid errors. I know some of you who believe in love and the fallibility of mere mortals (I'm not talking of you kasaperekarembo) continue to pray for me, so I hope it won't come to a psychiatrist's couch.

What of elephant-in-the-room, Lavish daughter of Maingi? Well, she sent me a package by G4S Courier the other day; yeah I was also surprised when it arrived given that company's recent local incompetence. Imelda signed for a set of 4 sumptuous boxer shorts in large made from 95% cotton and 5% Lycra. They are a snug, velvet glove-like fit, very much like how I remember her little manicured hands. I'm not veerry endowed in that department (I'm average, Imelda made a good guess, lol) therefore smooth little hands wrapped around my toolbox are always more than welcome but that's another story, hahaha. Also with the package was a carefully crafted personal message. L2mm dear, hope you don't mind me sharing parts of that letter, which I later shredded, with my readers. In it she surmises that I'm not really gay or even bi, she accuses me of exhibiting classic psycho sexual-predator symptoms by blowing hot and cold thereby creating dependence all for my gratification. It's not the first time I've being called that, btw. I on the other hand feel like I'm getting manipulated from different angles. Or to put it in sheng, naona kuna ujanja unago. Oddly enough I'm enjoying both the attention and deprivation equally - I can't work out what about these two very diverse creatures lights up sensual areas of my brain like fireworks.

Oh, Lavish pto'd her missive with the bombshell:I love you and I want to have your baby! It's all too much for me to handle. Tonight I'll just let my hair down, I'm heading off to The Simba Saloon with Sheila for some alcoholic beverages (dawa, anyone?) and nostalgic eighties soul music. You can find us canoodling - seated away from the crowd - in the 'Jo'burg' part of the club. I asked George if he wanted to join us he said he'll think about it but he hasn't given me a decision. We've just devoured a rather juicy water melon from the fridge together which is a good sign, I think know he'll come out too.

I take responsibility for all my actions (I'm sorry)

I finally escaped from the delectable black widow-clutches of Lavish on Wednesday morning because she had to leave for Kilifi. For the first time since those events I was a bag of nerves over breakfast thinking about George and my squalid actions of the last few days. She remarked are you always this grumpy in the morning even after you've had your sweeties? I don't know why but Lavish in broad daylight was already beginning to grate on me. I said 'excuse me if I'm not giving you my full undivided attention but I think my lust for you almost certainly lost me the only man I ever loved completely.' I remembered a line from "Good Girls" that song by Joe - why are all the good girls taken everytime. Lavish paused to put the glass of orange juice down and said tell me it wasn't all worth it because you were more than a willing participant. We were sitting downstairs at the Thorntree cafe looking out where they are extending the sidewalks further out to Kimathi Street. She continued, 'look at me and tell me you never want to see me again and I'll walk away.' I was staring at her breasts, now covered in a lavender crisp business shirt, where I'd rested my head the previous night. I felt nothing. But she knew me a little bit better to be confident that having binged on her juice I could never forget her easily. A tear rolled down my cheek as we embraced bye bye yet my crucifixion was only just starting.

When I got home it was mid morning, the sky was a hazy blue from all the Nairobi sunshine but my skin was cold. George was not in which was fine because i assumed he was away at work. Imelda looked at me with an accusing eye when she came to meet me in the hallway, I said I'm sorry pal for causing so much pain; she just nodded as she handed me an envelope from George. It was a Valentine's card with the love message crossed out. On the other face he had written 'To the love of my life, Tamaku', then: 'You have broken my heart in a million pieces with your cruelty. I've gone away to Eburru to be with Ken and Mwangi. Don't know when I'll be back. ' Signed, Yours Gee, and he had drawn a smiley of a sad face. I felt that dull, cutting pain where my heart should be. My near-perfect world was exploding around me and I had only myself to blame. Well, myself and the intoxicating charms of one Ms Lavish Mwanaisha Maingi (L2M for short). Mostly self-inflicted because she hadn't tied me to any bed.

I'll be a liar if I didn't confess to you that I also felt a deep sense of shame. I had let George down and people that I thought were my friends some whom I met through this blog instantly became hostile. It's no exaggeration that from the slew of emails received I have become the most detested Kenyan gay blogger. Someone even threatened to slash my penis and pour lemon juice on the cuts before cutting my balls off and stuffing them in my mouth! I was stymied to discover how many people think they know what's best for me, thanks for the concern btw. Later that afternoon I picked up myself from the floor and called George. We spoke for ten minutes but all I remember is I was sobbing like a baby saying sorry, so sorry honey. George on the other end was cool, his voice emotionless, not saying much just that he would be back when he was ready.

So I spent the rest of the week in a state of mourning and depression. Somehow I did manage to put in some long hours in a project that I'm working on although my heart wasn't in it. Saturday night just before midnight Lavish called me from Kilifi, she said I see you've been writing about us because she discovered this blog. She said you'll make people think I'm a heartless bitch but I don't care much for the opinions of strangers. Then she said to guess what colour panties she was wearing and I replied baby, whatever colour it is, it must be on fire but I don't feel like the phone-sex thingy tonight. She said wrong answer; I'm not wearing any now. I called to tell you I must have you for myself soon or I'll die. I said baby you won't die, but please, give me some space because I have many issues on my plate that need attending to at the moment. That night I unwisely drunk myself silly in a vain attempt to assuage my tormented soul and fall asleep.

George finally came back home early Sunday evening. We had spoken a few times more but I wasn't getting through to him the way I desperately wanted. I was still unforgiven and from his tone I sensed I could soon be forgotten. How foolish had I been and for what? I feared I had traded true love and security for lust and heady adoration that had left me feeling unfulfilled. I knew that George needed me (which I like) while with Lavish I would just be a trophy (soiled goods really) or a plaything at best (which I'm not used to). Sorry Lavish, but are you really a keeper? Am I not just another conquest, a notch on you bed post? After George had his shower and changed his clothes we sat in the patio silently enjoying the breeze. The air was heavy with the tension then he just cleared his throat and my heart stopped:

'Tam, it's over between us.'

My Valentine's Day & Night (Will I ever be forgiven?)

Continued from here:

I took a taxi to the hotel which was only 40 minutes. When I got to Lavish's room she opened the door and I dropped the suitcase inside, closed the door quietly and we kissed. She was wearing a long t-shirt and nothing else. It felt better and sweeter than the first time. Without saying a word I scooped her to the bed and we made love, she told me when I say no to you I always mean yes. Yes we made music, I finally understood what Chris Martin means on Paper Loving (Cardiac Bass Riddim) when he sings If you cyaan love me now, Don't love me later when my later is much greater...

We both cried real tears by the time we finished, that's how intense it was. I'm not saying that I'm a stud (far from it) or that Lavish is the best lover but it felt so special I even feel guilty telling you about it. Then we ordered room service and ate in bed. In fact we didn't leave the bed until Monday afternoon when we came downstairs to the Thorntree cafe. Over biscuits and tea lavish said Baby I told you I always get what I want. I didn't know what to say. I just said I think you reset my sexuality. She looked at me with her big eyes and took my hands in hers. Yes Tamaku, I was sent to reset your sexuality to straight and it will be set permanent at straight as long as I'm around. My head was spinning but all I could see was George's face. I told Lavish I love George. She said I know, because I met him when I came to your place and saw how you are together. She said I'll give you time to decide because I know you are mine forever. Then we went back to the suite, we made love again and fell asleep.

When we woke up it was almost six in the evening. The air in the suite was damp from the rain mixed with the sweet dizzying smell of sex and we had to get ready for dinner. I rang the restaurant that I'd reserved for George and me to cancel because I couldn't bring myself to go there with Lavish. Then I rang my old assistant Jemima from when I used to have a proper job, I said please superwoman I need dinner for two somewhere nice tonight. Jemima, bless her, called me back in ten minutes and said you have a table at Fogo Gaucho for nine pm. By this time Lavish was in the bath her face floating over bubbles so I joined her. She looked like a mermaid in the water, there are few women who are as beautiful as Lavish is. Because of that fact we made love again, we almost missed our reservation, lol! On the way to Westlands for dinner I called George. He sounded happy, I think he was tipsy. He said I'm at home with Imelda and her son we are having a Valentine's dinner. I said cool, I miss you guys, I'll see you tomorrow. So that's how Valentine's was - me and Lavish at Fogo Gaucho and then later at Black Diamond for some drinks and leg shaking. In the back of the taxi to Black D Lavish whispered in my ear, now that you've wined and dined me, are you going to sixty-nine me? I said you bet, later. My ego was turbo-boosted entering the club with this stunning woman. The guys in the club looked at me as if to say you lucky bastard and the Nairobi night girls looked at my date as if to say who let Cinderella out. I was thinking, wait till you see my boyfriend. Lavish that night was wearing vintage black Yamamoto lace, I told her if we get together with you I'll have to take out a mortgage just to buy your panties. Which is a big joke because Lavish has done very well for herself. She was so feminine like a china doll perfumed so irresistibly, seductive in waves of Vera Wang Princess. Even now sitting here all alone in the lounge watching KISS TV - Kenya's Greatest Entertainer 'talent' show where some hapless but sweet girl is murdering Britney Spears' I Was Born To Make You Happy, I can never forget that scent.

So to cut a long story short, I'm in a dilemma. Big time. I haven't seen George for the last four days although he's keeping in touch by phone. He told me he's taken our car to Naivasha with friends. Advice please!

My Valentine's Day & Night

It’s been a while people, where do I start? Ok, let's go to the beginning which is always a good place to start. So I left London on Friday morning feeling physically refreshed but there were still some cobwebs in my head. Did I tell you about someone called Lavish? Of course I did and many of you weren't too pleased. Anyway, newsflash: she was more than a passing cloud! I'd been thinking a lot about her that's why we agreed with George that we take some time apart. Let me tell you nowhere like 39000 feet up in the privacy of a Club World pod to collect one's thoughts. But by the time BA 0065 landed in Nairobi I was still not clear in my mind what I wanted to do or who I wanted to be with.

George picked me up from the airport; I'd missed him so much. This man has a heart of gold. We hugged tight for half a minute until I felt something move down there, hahaha. Then he drove us home. I could tell he was so excited to see me, telling me about what's been happening. In my absence Imelda's son came to live with us now he's going to school. I won't write much about him because he's only a child.

That night after a quick shower and a light snack we went to bed. When we were lying there George said, so what have you decided? Is it me or is it going to be that woman Lavish? I said honey I can't just choose like that because I love you and I have these feelings for Lavish as well. He said people don't know how complex you are, I just want you to be happy so you need to make up your mind. And that's how the first night back went, cuddling each other in bed and talking for hours. But no sex, none of us even felt like it. We talked about how we met and how happy we've been together and also intimate stuff that I won't tell you because it's deep and only two people ever heard those whispers.

Come Sunday afternoon we were sitting in the lounge watching TV and my mobile vibrated. It flashed up 'LAVISH' and George saw it but he pretended like he had not seen it. I walked to the kitchen to answer the call. I felt something in my stomach from hearing that voice. Lavish asked, man have you missed me? I didn't make a sound. She said I know you missed me even if you don't say it because I'm a woman and we know these things. I found my voice and I said I missed you. Then she said I'm in town at the hotel, I want you to come to me now. I said let me think about it, I'll let you know. Then she said don't think because I'm waiting. Come now I’m waiting for you. Strangely, as she said those words I realized I was pinching my right nipple which was now quite stiff.

After the call ended I went back to Gee, he looked up and said I know you have to go but it's okay. He looked hurt and sad. I said honey I'm very sorry because I’m becoming a bad person. Then I went upstairs to our room. I packed my small wheelie Samsonite, I packed some underwear and socks and toiletries. I also put in a black Van Heusen dinner shirt and trousers and my autograph black pointy shoes. I knew I was spending Valentine's dinner away from George. I was going away to be with Lavish....


To be continued:

Happy 2011 and beyond ,YOU got me thinking

We're waiting for a taxi to transport us to dinner then George and I have been promised a night to remember on the South Bank bars of London. Before I get more plastered than I already am, I just wanted to wish you all a most spectacular night wherever you are ushering in 2011. May you all live long and prosper. xxxx

PS: For Lavish only: honey, next year lets do it like this in Kilifi, I miss you too - it's a deal.

I gotta a feeling

George and I just got back from visiting my friend Nyiva in Kangundo who's made a remarkable recovery from that bodaboda accident. Doctors are confident she'll be back at work in January which is nothing short of a miracle from when I last saw her. Also friends (Gay Knights of Nairobi - by invitation only) and family of mine clubbed some money together which means her son will also be in class when school reopens. There's some cash left over so they'll both definitely know it's Christmas time. Nyiva wants all of you to know how touched she was by your cyber prayers and kind words. Pat yourselves all on the back for that wonderful result.

Well, about that alleged two-timing incident with Lavish last week for which Kasapere now intimates I'm a rapist and lowlife, George and I are in a good place too. By the way I turned down an all expenses offer by Lavish early this week to go see her in Mombasa. I told her I'm not willing to take this to the next level and jeopardise what's dearest to me so I really hope you understand. Lavish said my heart desires you Tamaku but I'll do my best to back off. Then she added rather ominously, I usually get most things that I want so keep looking over your shoulder. We both laughed nervously at that implied threat, I scratched my testicles in camaraderie and replied eh missy, please don't go all psycho bitch on me now. Then we just left it at that.

After that conversation I called George and promised him that there wouldn't be a next time ever. I also more than made up to Gee for that indiscretion but I'm not going to reveal too much. All I can say is my supplication involved an intimate candlelit dinner somewhere very nice, a half bottle of Skyy vodka, Virgin Sudanese shea butter rubbed somewhere and some mind-blowing sex. Oh, the icing on the cake is the present of Christmas this year in England. I'm not too shy to unleash some spare financial firepower if it keeps us together. This morning after reading Kasapere's hurtful comments George tearfully told me I feel so blessed for this no ordinary love and I want you to know that you'll never be anyone's douchebag. So it's back to happy families.

On the way back from Kangundo (that road is an effing disgrace) I took this picture of men-at-work doing patchwork repairs. All is not lost though, a little bird sat on a lofty perch has just told me that total rehabilitation is penciled to begin early 2011 :)

We are both now slightly tired so we'll have a shagnap then shower and change before heading out to dinner with friends and some grueling (for me) clubbing. It's a small price for the privilege of having a younger man for a lover and best friend. Let no-one be under any illusion - George is the most loving, beautiful and hottest man alive. He is also irreplaceable. Lavish was horny-goat sex. Hope that has cleared it all up.

I've got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good, good night. Lovely Saturday night all. xxx

No Means Yes (Chopped and Screwed)

My life here in beautiful Kenya sometimes feels like a movie. You’ve met the main actors: George (boyfriend), Imelda (housekeeper) and Sheila (best female friend). Weeks ago Lavish made a cameo appearance. Well it looks like she wants to become a regular. This is an account of what happened to me yesterday:

I was in the garden just working on my laptop when I got a call from Lavish. I had spoken to her twice since our first meeting. So she calls me and says hi Tamaku, I’m in town can we please meet. I said what a lovely surprise; of course sweetie just let me know place and time. Lavish said come to the Exchange bar at Sarova Stanley today 4pm-ish. I said sounds super I’ll be there. I felt a strange tingling sensation and sweat down my spine, like excitement mixed with anticipation. Anyway, I finished the report I was writing and then had an extra long shower. I soaped while singing I’ve Never Been To Me by Charlene…Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run,Took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun, But I ran out of places and friendly faces, Because I had to be free, I've been to paradise but I've never been to me…..
My intuition was telling me to make an extra effort so I wore my vintage Diesel Jeans, my lucky pink Number 7 polo shirt from Hackett (sometimes I feel like a Brit, hehehe) and brown Hush Puppies from Bata. I over-splashed Tsar cologne on my chin and neck and also some drops on my crotch and I was good to go.

I got the car valet-parked at the Stanley and climbed up the stairs to the bar at a few minutes to 4. I saw Lavish seated at a table by the window looking out to Kenyatta Avenue. I walked up to her and she stood up to give me a hug. She was looking stunning in snow-white denims, I said wow you look spectacular who is it this time. She laughed like a teenage girl and said thanks Tamaku, you always appreciate what I’m wearing, it’s Guy Laroche. I sat down taking in the aura of Flowerbomb which I now know is her scent and the waitress came to our table. She asked what are you having, I said please bring me whatever madam is drinking which turned out to be a delicious Merlot. We talked with Lavish, she told me she was in town to see some people for business including me. I said I’ve been expecting you because I loved your company very much from last time. I was looking inside her brown eyes, she was talking with them code-blinking me you make me feel good and I like you a lot. I thought I must tell her what I’m about so I just told her after the first glass of wine please listen to me . She said what, what and I whispered I’m gay. Lavish was quiet for a minute looking out of the windows through the white sheer curtains then she turned to me and said I knew it was too good to be true. She told me as a successful career woman many men are very intimidated of her. I was thinking what’s wrong with my straight brothers because this is premium grade and she is crying out to be asked on a date.

After the second glass it was now about 5.30 pm so I said please let’s change venue. I was feeling slightly tipsy and my instincts were calling for the chase to begin. We left the Stanley and walked down Kimathi Street and round the corner to Mama Ngina Street. I said let’s go up the Porterhouse bar which is normally full of hoity-toity start-up lawyers. We entered the bar and the room went silent, Lavish has that effect on people and I’m not that bad a catch also, lol. I told Benson the barman, please get us two glasses of Merlot and we carried on drinking. Naughty thoughts started going through my mind sitting next to Lavish brushing thighs and feeling the vibes. After two hours she was licking her lips and telling me man, how about it? I said please let’s go with the flow, don’t rush it.

We left Porterhouse at about 9 and walked towards Hilton holding hands. George called me on my mobile and said where are you, I said I’m with that bird I told you about called Lavish and I’m taking her clubbing to Westlands. He said that’s cool, do what you have to do because I know you like her, I’ll be at home whatever time. Lavish and I got into a cab which dropped us off at Black Diamond. We entered the rooftop terrace and everyone was looking at Lavish because she looks like a supermodel and she made the other Nairobi lovelies look very ordinary. We carried on drinking until midnight. I was feeling peaked and my resolve had long been broken. I said to Lavish, I’m coming back to your hotel with you. She said yes I know you are. Muchiri, the cab guy picked us up and took us back to the Stanley. I was thinking with my dick - please be a good boy today and don’t let this mammy down. We went up the lift and into her exquisite suite. When we got inside she shut the door and then we kissed like virgins although we both know the game very well like La Liga pros.

My hands and lips were on auto-pilot finding rarely ventured routes. Lavish was moaning No, no, please Tamaku. I looked deep in her eyes and said I know baby, No means yes. So we did it, my love-plank didn’t let me down even though it’s been a long time with a woman. Of course I also durexed because that’s my religion and I care. When we got there, Lavish bizarrely said to me please baby tell me you’ll always love me unconditionally. I said honey you are ranked but that was sex and my situation right now is very sticky. So she said I understand but I saw tears in her eyes before we both fell asleep.

This morning I got up at 6, Lavish was still asleep. I put on my clothes quietly like a two-bit whore. I wrote on the pad at the desk ‘thanks; last night was heaven’, and tiptoed out of the room. I got the car back and drove home fast, not thinking of much. Luckily I found George had not left for work. He looked at me and said I know but I still love you. I said sorry baby and he said that’s OK but if it was a guy you’d be history.

So now I’m just here in the garden where yesterday started. Lavish called an hour ago, she said I want you to come see me in Mombasa next week. I said I’ll think about it and let you know. Somehow I feel like things might be getting out of control.