A few years ago I was at a wedding reception of a Kenyan music producer where I joined two women acquaintances in the flower bedecked marquee. They soon started talking about a male guest working in advertising who everyone in Nairobi knows to be gay.
‘These gay men can be nasty, they like to gossip like women,’ pigeonholed chocolate-toned beauty in a stunning KikoRomeo creation.
‘Yes,’ replied princess daughter of wealthy NSE stockbroker, index finger flicking away a stray dreadlock. ‘And they are so jealous of women.’
I just nodded as if to say all this gay talk is emasculating my heterosexual self. They had no idea that they were talking to Mr Gay himself.
It got me wondering. I definitely don’t hate the female of our species. However it seems that increasingly the myth of the gay man’s best friend, the fag hag, is being called to question. I’ve had it said that gay men even hate women and also that lesbians hate men. Not in the not-my-cup-of-tea sense but in the can’t-stand-your-face sense. Could it be a case of jostling for position in a fractured society? It’s a sad reality that far too many of our women are at the bottom of the food chain - as Kaasa puts it here eloquently. Or is it the machinations of chasing after a common factor that would make some gay men hostile to women as observed here.
Honestly, I don’t know what to make of it all. Those most discriminated against stand accused of doing exactly that.