Sunday, November 7, 2010

This is my confession

Last night I was home alone. George was away visiting parents and Imelda was on leave. After dinner I couldn't stand the utter loneliness. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my own company very much but sometimes you need to be with people. I didn't want to go out to bars because nothing worse than a lonely drunk. I called George to vent my frustrations and he understood. He said permission granted to seek human companionship for the night but on condition that you both sleep in the guestroom and absolutely no sex. Oh, and it can't be a guy you are dead if I find out. It has to be a girl!

So I got in the car and cruised to a deserted city centre. I saw her on the kerb across Standard Street opposite Trattoria. She was a leggy stunner in a tight halter top and tight short skirt carrying a denim jacket who didn’t look like she’d be a day past 21. It’s amazing how fast a British-made SUV in champagne draws them like flies to shit. She asked me are you looking for action, I said may be, please get in the car we talk. When she jumped in I said my name is Tamaku, she told me hello darling I'm Nicole and it will be 4500 shillings for the night your place or hotel. I said fine and started the drive back home. On the way we listened to some old music like Rick Astley - never gonna give you up and Automatic by Pointer Sisters - every word I intended to speak winds up locked in a circuitry. Nicole told me she was a second year student at the University of Nairobi who was only trying to survive in the big city. I told her I'm not judging because we all have to do stuff at one point or another.

When we got to our estate I could see she was wishing she'd asked for more money. I told her don't worry I don't want to have sex with you, I just need company for the night. I could tell she didn't believe me and some of you guys won't believe me either. Listen up: there's nothing wrong with my truncheon and if there was, which there isn’t, I'd have easily stopped at the late night chemist for some Viagra 100 mg, hahaha. It's performance-enhancing just like cheating but it always does the trick (pun unintended).

I pulled up at our gate and the askari from KK Guards very briefly looked inside the car in shock. He knows I'm gay from how I am with George so he looked at Nicole sitting next to me looking all dolled up like a girl fulani ready for business. We got inside the house and I took her jacket, Nicole said wow what a place you have here, I said thanks and please feel at home. I went to get drinks, Nicole wanted a brandy and I had a chilled Tusker malt lager. Then I turned to look at her.

Let me say that I met many beautiful women in my life so I can safely say that Nicole was an 8.5. Her large soft eyes told me she didn't have much mileage on the clock. She told me she was also a single mum. I told her I'm a fag who lives with a man but he's away for the night. She said no way, I couldn't tell but I won’t let you do me in the butt. I said, ‘no Nicole I told you no sex, not even kinky sex.’

We soon started dancing; I even showed Nicole my dodgy moonwalk to Shalamar's Night to Remember. She laughed at me and said I never met a client as nutty and kind as you. I said right now I'm not a client I'm just a person but I'll give you the money we agreed on. Then we cuddled on the sofa listening to some R Kelly. She felt all soft and vulnerable when we were not talking just listening to slow jams.

Temperatures started rising so I got up and said let's go to the room and please bring your drink with you. Nicole followed me to the downstairs guestroom. I went to run the bath with lots of bubblebath and took off all my clothes. When I was in the bath Nicole appeared at the door and asked can I join you, I answered if you like. She undressed and got in the bath and I just held her in my arms. We stayed for so long we almost fell asleep and the water was getting cold. By the way never have a hot bath alone when you've been drinking - it can be lethal. When we got out I wrapped us both in a large towel and dried her. Nicole looked up my face and asked why are you doing this to me. I said I don't know. I fetched her a spare set of pyjamas, her petite frame was floating in them, lol. I put on some shorts and we sat by the window drinking her brandy.

After about an hour we got in bed. Again Nicole asked don't you find me attractive; I said you are a very beautiful and intelligent woman now go to sleep. When I turned off the lights I spooned Nicole and she started sobbing telling me things that have happened in her short life. I rubbed her chest gently saying I'm so sorry baby, it will be ok. I was thinking evil bastards.

Early this morning I got up and made breakfast for us. We shared a fried duck egg, sausages and Kenylon baked beans. When Nicole went to have a shower I called George and told him everything that I've told you. He said I believe you, now get that girl out of our house I'm on my way back. So I gave Nicole the cash and called her a cab. I declined to give her my number because I said it would just complicate things.

That's my confession.


  1. that was such a nice thing to do!
    Random question though, why a night-nurse and not a hag?

  2. Wow, that was a beautiful story. It reminds me of one of my favorite books called "Bad Behaviour", its a collection of short stories about people in all these weird and fucked up but ultimately very human kind of relationships, or at least about finding love in unlikely places. Johns falling in love with prostitutes that kind of thing. If you've ever watched that movie The Secretary it is loosely based on a story in this book about sadomasochistic relationships. Anyhow yeah, good stuff.

  3. I like the hot bubble bath part best, gurgle/gurgle.

    Glad to see you made it through the night!


  4. I believe you! Good stuff.

  5. Boy oh boy! you never cease to amaze me, Tams can I call you that? you are such a creative weirdo :)

  6. Tamaku
    You are nothing if not interesting. You read like a novel - I like you.


  7. Kind old soul.

    You would do that again wouldn't you?

  8. ha ha ha yaani you are one of a kind.
    Best you didnt give the digits.

  9. Ok, that's it. I'm coming to your house. Buy more bubble bath, I'll be right there!

  10. The third message from heaven...
    If any man worship the beast and his image, and receive his mark in his forehead, or in his hand, The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb: And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.

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  12. are you serious!!! is this a true story Tamaku? did you get horny at all when you were with her or that doesnt happen to gays?
    And george, his okay with this? wow!!! lucky you then :* love ur blog

  13. It ain't cool you told her you were gay. You NEVER know who's "CRAZY" out there :-(. Anyway I guess you felt comfortable enough to tell her and saw through to her soul ;-).

    As always, GREAT PIECE ;-)


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