Sunday, May 24, 2009

Dramat W Biurze

I had one of those weeks. Few things seemed on point, the dots just refused to align themselves. I was so glad when the weekend arrived. I also concluded that Kenny who works with Sheila managing our bigger accounts is a backstabbing brown noser. He came to see me on Wednesday, hey can we have an off-the- record, wearing a sheepish grin for my benefit in contrived servitude. Then he started outlining all these wonderful ideas for his department. His telescopic vision tells him he should be handling all the key clients since ‘I have longevity and because I’m a guy I won’t be taking time off to go have kids like Sheila will.’ I wanted to ask him where he heard that Sheila was pregnant but I didn’t because I know humour is wasted on the egotistic.

I was taken aback because Sheila is Kenny’s boss and she showed him the ropes when he started; now he’s after her job. And he’s using gender against her! Then he continued how he had wanted to tell me for the longest time and a day that ‘you are the best boss I could ever wish for, rah, rah, rah.’ When people start dishing out crap I usually zone out to the private video collection inside my head which is currently showing Lady Gaga ‘Just Dance’. Don’t get me wrong I’m all for nurturing ambition and I appreciate that schmoozing is part of business culture but betrayal is a no-no with me. When his lips stopped moving I was in the middle of trying on Lady Gaga’s black pvc thigh-high boots, so I nodded sagely stroking my tie and said I’d think about it then he slithered out of my office. Hatchet job done, so he thinks.

It’s an open secret at work that Sheila and Kenny had a fling about two months ago. She confided in me that she’d dumped him when he turned out to be a flop where it counts. You know when they say Heineken refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach, well apparently Kenny is the non-alcoholic ‘other beers’ of the bedroom! Warning to mums and dads who enjoy reading this blog out loud to Junior at bedtime please skip the next two lines unless you wish to answer questions on sexual dysfunction in men. Well Sheila tells me that Kenny even tried a daily portion of that herbal solution with extra vigour tonic as advertised in the nation newspaper classifieds in an unsuccessful attempt to cure himself off this malady (ma lady, I know you are understanding but it’s still no laughing matter!)

Parents of Junior who don’t want him to be like Tamaku when he grows up can resume reading from here: What Kenny doesn’t know is Sheila and I are on the verge of jumping ship to pastures new. More on that at a later post. We’re overseeing radical changes in the coming weeks including retiring some functions before we both leave. So for a little twist of the knife I’ll ask Sheila to break the bad news of his retrenchment to Kenny. I’m all for delegating tasks; you don’t have a dog and then bark yourself, no? No.

Oh by the way, the title to this post is in Polish. It means drama at the office. Have a great week ahead my friends!

17 comments:

  1. Betrayl...everyones favorite...when will they get it?

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  2. Well, i must say, though i am replicating. Back stabbing anyone aint cool. Thumbs up for letting sheila pour the ice over him. Wish you a great week too.

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  3. Hi Leonardo,

    Towards the end of the week, while we were mapping out redeployments Sheila even put Kenny's name forward saying how much she wants him to move up the ladder. She was perplexed when I vetoed the suggestion. xx

    Hi Naughty feeling,

    Sheila has been a great colleague and dear friend. I'll look out for her whenever I can. Cheers to you too. xxx xx

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  4. And there I was laughing and rolling on the floor as I read that, thinking how much I'd missed Tamaku's humour.

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  5. Hi Anengiyefa,

    Problem is I have to keep a straight face, difficult at the best of times. And NO, I don't need an 'extra tonic with vigour for strength,' though that's what they always say ;(
    xxx x

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  6. How very 'Gays of our lives' you are today! Thanks for the good chuckle my friend!

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  7. Hi Billy,

    Glad to have brought a smile. I have recently developed an interest in Polish, I've got a friend on facebook who's teaching me a few phrases though I'm still a lifetime away from doing a blogpost in the language! I just love the sound of Polish words . xxx

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  8. Hey Tamaku,
    Well congrats on the new pastures am sure you will love it there. And am still amazed of how awesome you are. Am sure Sheila knows it too and appreciate all you do for her.

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  9. Hey Mystic,

    Thanks. Sheila and I will need each other even more in our new environment. The move doesn't happen for another 10 weeks or so but we are looking forward to selling our country out there. Hope politics don't mess things up. xxx

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  10. Hey Tamaku,
    Not many times at the workplace you find betrayal being nipped at the bud. Sheila is sure lucky to have a real friend at work.

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  11. My God! You Nasty Tamaku. The above will make anybody think twice if ever they want to badmouth a colleague. The days of our lives episode four. I can see what I've missed.

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  12. Am I always the las one to comment? Sheesh! I need to work on that.

    Office drama! Yum! My weekend looks promising with this story as fodder!

    Enjoy yours!

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  13. Hey Nint,

    We all need a friend at work. It's the place we spend the most time so we should aim to keep it pleasant. Thanks for your comments. xx x

    Hi Joe Nickson,

    Miaow! Nasty is necessary at times. It's not really something I've engineered, other events are proving convenient to settle this score. xx x

    Hello Pater Nostra,

    Better late than never. Yeah, these dramas are taking their toll on me. I feel a holiday coming on for me and George Somewhere far away... xxxx

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  14. Lol this reminds me of a workmate who really loves to talk. As in really. Problem is our wavelengths are miles apart so at any one time there's nothing for us to discuss for more than a few seconds. But he still talks on! Dont these people get it when there's no vibe going on?

    I so feel you Tamaku on the zoning out and playing Lady Gaga video. Hehehehe.

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  15. Hi Shiko-Msa,

    What I also find fascinating is that some characters spend so many years acquiring papers, but forget to work on their emotional intelligence. Thanks for stopping by. xx

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  16. I soo understand you on the zoning out part..I zone out on many conversations, lectures and especially preaching and speeches.

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  17. Savvy,

    You know what, this is a valuable lesson I learnt from my businesswoman mum years ago. I asked her once,'Mummy, how do you manage to survive in this hostile environment?' She said to me,'T, if there's one thing I want you to learn, never have a harsh word for someone who is not your family or who is not a friend. When you don't agree with what is being said just tune out.' I've found this advice to be useful, it saves so much hassle. Thanks for your comments. xxx x

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