Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Vaseline

What came to mind when you saw this brand of petroleum jelly mentioned
here?

Not many people can say they haven't used it or had it used on them
ever. It's rubbed on babies bottoms and spread on our lips, helps skin
in healing and protects scalps from chemical burns at the salon. If
you put it on your elbows daily they'll stay soft, same with your
knees if you need them to glow again after mass on Sunday. Oh Vaseline
what would I do without you!

But if you find a tub of the miracle stuff on the bedside drawer of a
gay man's bedroom be very afraid and just put your trousers back on
because Vaseline and condoms don't mix.

(Remember this saying from the Mashoga tribe of Kenya: Akupakaye
mafuta si rafiki - He who smears oil on you is no friend!
Ok it's my own saying but still sound advice.)

For more on the Scourge please read Simon Collery.


Sent from my iPhone

6 comments:

  1. Even for straight sex Vaseline is a no-no, KY all the way!!!!!!

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  2. Hi acolyte

    Thx for that. Seems no place inside a body for the stuff! Only ky and water-based lube...xxx

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  3. "Vaseline and sex don't mix"

    True facts Tamaku, trufax.

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  4. Tamaku hi ni true story,shifta who hijack lorries to lamu make the driver do the turnboy vice versa.So one day a driver was seen buying vaseline before travelling when pressed he could only say si hayo mashoga wakisomali wakitufanya tufanyane hii ita saidia na hili turnboy limebeba

    ReplyDelete
  5. lol!!! good advice... actually i thot it was 4 wanking purposes....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Miss Kristy

    I'm a good boy I don't wank (someone pass me some tissues!)
    It's ok for wanking I guess..lol! xxxx

    ReplyDelete

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