Friday, April 3, 2009

Homophobic best friend invites us to lunch

My best friend Mike called me today. We haven’t seen each other much lately. It hasn’t escaped my attention that since George came into my life I’ve been purposely neglecting Mike. I’ve known Mike for years; we were room mates in college and I still bear the emotional scars of my secret unrequited nightly lust. Then Mike was the perfect man I knew my family prayed I would become and for many years I tried but failed to become that other man.

Mike has invited me to his house tomorrow afternoon for some nyama choma with beers, that seemingly benign social activity enjoyed and frequently abused by many Kenyans. I instinctively said yes before remembering that I now come as part of a unit that must include George, so I said to Mike I’ll bring a friend. I could hear the raised eyebrow of disbelief in his voice when he joked ‘eh you found yourself a girlfriend, bring her along and if she’s hot then we can compare notes ha ha ha,’ not harmless under different circumstances especially coming from this philandering married man. I told him no it’s a dear friend called George that I want you to meet and he breathed disappointedly oh, bring him along.

George is looking forward to meeting Mike and his family. He understands how important they are to me so George says it’s a small but crucial step we should take for the sake of expanding our joint social circle. I agree but I’m also anxious about tomorrow because Mike is a vocal homophobe from whose acidic scrutiny I want to shield my lover George.


  1. How do you do it? I couldn't be close friends with someone who makes me feel like s**t each time he opens his mouth. I'm done with putting up with 'friends' who will not accept me as I am. I have made it a condition for my friendship.

    Years it may be, but frankly George it is who is the more important person in your life. Of course you haven't come out to Mike and I'm not saying that you should. But surely the relationship needs re-evaluation, don't you think so?

  2. Why can't you prepare him in advance to prevent a catastrophe. Trust me i know that terrain n it aint pretty. Don't be equivocal about it.

  3. Hi Anengiyefa,

    Friends can be a pain sometimes, but I feel I have invested so much energy into my relationship with Mike I can't totally cut him out. So I put up with him warts and all. He's otherwise a really nice guy - just flawed as we all are. x

    Hi Gladiator,

    George knows that Mike is a homophobe, but he's yet to understand to what extent. You can only appreciate the fact when you meet someone like Mike in the flesh! x

  4. You do your thing, sweetie! Awesome blog, and stay strong. P.S.- I am so untolerant of homophobes.

  5. Tamaku,

    We all have friends like that. What I found works is bringing George along to these lunch invites/ social dates/ beer & meat parties and he gets used to seeing George around.

    Then, when you decide to drop the bombshell on him by telling him how close you are to George or he finds the two of you making out, then he can be prepared. I wouldn't surprise me he says, 'I knew there was something between the two of you.' That's a scene right from Hollywood!

    In the mean time, keep up with all the crap he throws around. Don't do anything that will jeopardize you or George.

    Or, you can just come out and tell him you are gay!

  6. Hi Valley Girl,

    Thanks honey! Some homophobes can make life very miserable for gays, so unnecessary. x

    Hi Pater Nostra,

    We just got back. Asante for the advice. Not in a fit state to post. More later. x

  7. Hey u am thnkin of becoming an ardent follower of ur blog. Had something i want u 2 address. Wat email a/c shud i use? p.s. Hope the meeting went well. Lol.

  8. Hi Tamaku,

    Hope it all went well. I am glad that George decided to go with you. May be he is a latent homo. Most of the homophobes i know are.

  9. Hi Gladiator,

    You can email me at I'll post on how the meeting went soon. Thanks. x

    Hi gay accountant,

    You could be right about the latent homosexual angle. It was fun and sad at the same time. I'll post it soon. x


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