Friday, April 17, 2009

Dear Tamaku…

I’m increasingly getting emails from readers asking me for help about some emotional/relationship issue or seeking advice on a subject. Here’s a sample of some of these and my responses. I always add a disclaimer to say I’m not trained to help these people with their problems and to consult a professional. Feel free to chip in with your own advice.

Dear Tamaku,

I enjoy reading your blog. I have an issue that I’d like you to advise me on. Is 7.5 too small? Thank you. Mr P*, Nairobi.

Tamaku says: Dear Mr P from Nairobi,

7.5 is the manufacturer’s standard size for the tool you refer to. In other words you are currently driving a Toyota 110, which thankfully has more torque than a Toyota Duet. However you are not in the league of Hummer drivers. Happy safe motoring! -Tamaku.

Dear Tamaku,

Please help me decide what to do with my dilemma. I am married with 3 young children and live with my husband in a nice part of town. My brother who was recently laid off from his job is living with us while he looks for another job.

Last week I got the biggest shock of my life, even now I’ve not recovered. I came home early from work to find my husband in bed with my brother. I cannot understand how my husband could be sleeping with another man.

Please Tamaku, what should I do? Mrs N*, Mombasa.

Tamaku says: Dear Mrs N from Mombasa,

Get a grip on yourself woman! Are you upset because you found your husband with your brother or because you discovered that your husband is gay? If the same happened with your sister would you not be angrier that your husband was sleeping with your sister rather than with another woman?
My advice: Why don’t you accept him for what he is? And a final question, how did you manage to make these two men gay? - Tamaku

*Names and some details hidden to maintain anonymity.


  1. Tamaku,

    LOL! Especially the one on Mr.P. You sure pulled a first one on me.!

    Mrs. N is hysterical for no reason. So what she found the husband with the brother? Brings to mind a term I heard recently-'in house breeding'
    At least he (the husband) kept it in the family!

    Your giving free advice also reminds me of NTV's 'Ask Harriet' Remember it?

  2. Pater,

    Best time to work the 'helpline' is when you have some tuskers'll dish out top-notch advice and all for free! lmao!

  3. Tamaku,

    LMAO! Yes, I sure can give some advice when high on cold Tuskers. They bring out the best (and worst) in me! Hehehe.

    I will charge people for my services. Recession ni mbaya! Even the religious feel the pinch (and we are the ones who have taken vows of poverty; you'd think we'd be celebrating).

  4. Hilarious!!! It's surely is a Friday. But you were too harsh on the coastal woman...imagine the shock!

  5. Hi CPK,

    Loving that Friday feeling! If you think that was harsh, then consider that my first response was to ask, 'what did you do to your brother to deserve this?' LOL! The 'helpline' only runs on boozy weekends...

  6. Just wondering why that Mombasa woman would have been reading your blog in the first place...

  7. Hi Anengiyefa,

    Goodmorning. That pixie known as Google might have had a hand in it...

    x x

  8. Another Gikuyu shoga on web

    Homosexuality is illegal in Kenya - I am watching you.


  9. Hi NSIS,

    Thanks for stopping by. We are not casting for the next Bond villain! Anyway just to play along...'I am also watching you, watching me...' (the mind boggles)

    x x (just my customary salute)


Hey you, leave a comment but don't just be an asshole about it - try to be decent. That said you are welcome to heap abuse or ridicule if it makes you feel better. However in order to get published it must not be homophobic, racist or sexist. OK?