Dear Tamaku…

I’m increasingly getting emails from readers asking me for help about some emotional/relationship issue or seeking advice on a subject. Here’s a sample of some of these and my responses. I always add a disclaimer to say I’m not trained to help these people with their problems and to consult a professional. Feel free to chip in with your own advice.

Dear Tamaku,

I enjoy reading your blog. I have an issue that I’d like you to advise me on. Is 7.5 too small? Thank you. Mr P*, Nairobi.

Tamaku says: Dear Mr P from Nairobi,

7.5 is the manufacturer’s standard size for the tool you refer to. In other words you are currently driving a Toyota 110, which thankfully has more torque than a Toyota Duet. However you are not in the league of Hummer drivers. Happy safe motoring! -Tamaku.



Dear Tamaku,

Please help me decide what to do with my dilemma. I am married with 3 young children and live with my husband in a nice part of town. My brother who was recently laid off from his job is living with us while he looks for another job.

Last week I got the biggest shock of my life, even now I’ve not recovered. I came home early from work to find my husband in bed with my brother. I cannot understand how my husband could be sleeping with another man.

Please Tamaku, what should I do? Mrs N*, Mombasa.

Tamaku says: Dear Mrs N from Mombasa,

Get a grip on yourself woman! Are you upset because you found your husband with your brother or because you discovered that your husband is gay? If the same happened with your sister would you not be angrier that your husband was sleeping with your sister rather than with another woman?
My advice: Why don’t you accept him for what he is? And a final question, how did you manage to make these two men gay? - Tamaku


*Names and some details hidden to maintain anonymity.