50 ways to find a lover in Nairobi

I actually look forward to bedtimes these days and not just for what you might be thinking. We are normally in bed by 11pm with me snuggled in The Nook, that special place that George keeps warm just for me. It’s where I can hear his heart talking to my soul. I love reading in bed and I’m used to it now even while he’s watching pirate copies of CSI or Heroes or Band of Brothers. Yes, George won that battle so we still have the tv with dvd in the bedroom. Last night I wanted to watch a copy of Chokora that a friend got for me the other day but George said it’s too depressing. From what I hear it will make you very MAD. Anyway we’ll watch it with Imelda tomorrow while he’s at work. I don’t want to precipitate another bust-up. You might think that I’m a walkover but I try not to sweat the small stuff because we are both so happy now.

Currently I’m enjoying reading 50 Ways to Find a Lover by Lucy-Anne Holmes. I picked up a brand new copy abandoned in the airport lounge on my recent trip to London. Which reminds me, imagine how shocked I was to discover the other day that there are websites where you can hire a lover in Nairobi for the night! Or day! Even by the hour! You can now meet real gorgeous men with mouth-wateringly ripped abs or sexy women with curves as tight as the streets of Monte-Carlo. If you like a varied diet you can even have both together. All at the click of a button and of course the slimming of your wallet. A world away from how one woman tried to get me interested not so long ago. My research shows it's even possible to arrange the rendezvous in your office boardroom for the horny but busy exec. By the way if ‘supermarket’ (self-service or taking matters into your own hands solo in the privacy of your bedroom) with lights dimmed and aromatic oils burning is more your thing, you can even pay and download local porn clips instantly, wait let me finish, and away you go come, lol! If you live in a flat just turn the volume up high, the neighbours will envy you thinking you’re such an animal. Go tiger..

It’s all happening here in our supposedly deeply religious and morally righteous African country.