Thursday, August 13, 2009

Homo Erectus spotted in Nairobi bar

I was having a quiet drink last night after work while waiting for my George when a female beauty (random score of 50 points) invited herself to my table where I was seated alone. She said she was waiting for someone too so we shared a table and she even bought me a drink. After about an hour or so I was shocked to be invited to her pad for the promise of a good time, it would cost me only 20,000 shillings (expensive for Nairobi, I’m told so deduct 30 points for over-charging) for the whole night but I would 'love every single hot inch of it, daddy'. Meanwhile she didn’t leave any tantalizing descriptions out. If you were eavesdropping you’d have been driven crazy when she told me about her ‘vet’ skills in mouth to mouth for male chickens (50 points). Dear reader I confess I was turned on by this stranger but luckily I remembered that all these are just temptations of the flesh sent by the devil (ashindwe kabisa!) and my mind should be stronger that’s when I started breathing normally and regained my composure.

To be fair to her she was also extremely well-dressed (15 points), with an air of worldly sophistication (35 points) and would have easily passed for a successful businesswoman. And very well-spoken (25 points) I might add, I was mesmerised by her confidence and charm (30 points). Of course I declined the offer of sex from this young lady because I don’t remember how to screw with women – what goes where & how! You can forget you know, it’s not like riding a bicycle. Although on some pornos I’ve looked at it looks like that’s the idea some men have of sex.

Anyway she’d gone by the time George showed up but I told him about my encounter on the way home. So we started wondering: is there any difference between a high class prostitute and a low class one?


  1. Yes there is a difference, a low class one is broke and works on Koinange and charges less, a high class one, works bars, charges more, and does not appear to be as broke.

  2. Hahaaaaa.... you cracked up my morning!

    Her gaydar is faulty to a T!

  3. OMG! Whats this world cming to? Maybe its boredom from all the power rationing that I am hearing about :)

  4. lol! that chick was barking up the wrong tree i see. ungempa number yangu i do her good!

  5. lol-est!
    There is a difference between a high class prostitute, and a cheap one: How much cash the John part with.

    About your encounter ... I am reading SETUP all over this one. Had you been straight, you would be blogging about how you were accosted by Onyi and his fellow goons.

  6. Hi ROLF,

    No shit Sherlock! Lol! Don't both sets of langas just pander to ego? BTW does it matter that offers sex for money or food or even to advance a career? Mmmmm. And should we be pointing a big stick at the clients too? Lovely to see you again. Have a great weekend. xxxx x

    Hi Mystic,

    She told me we wouldn't need any power for the promised! Aki forgive me, I've had a drink tonight...xx xx xx

    Hi Brenda Sausage,

    I'm sure you'd have enjoyed her vet skills - alikuwa na lips poa, I'll dispatch her your way next time lakini you have to post details! Cool? xxxx xx x

    Hi Mwistar,

    Setup aka clipping? It won't be the first time! I'll tell you in person when I meet you one of these days...xx xx xx

  7. Hey GNM,

    Her gaydar was truly faulty but now the more I think of it maybe not. 'She' might have been a 'he' in drag!!!! Damn! And damn again from George too. TV's are a secret fantasy of ours. (Don't tell anyone, that's why I replied yours at the end)

  8. Tam,

    MTV or FTV?


  9. Hi Gem,

    A male one without a doubt. xxx xx

  10. Hi Tamaku, I am coming to Nairobi this summer and would love to meet a masculine gay Kenyan man. I am 46 years old from the United States. Maybe you can give me some advice on where to go to meet a nice man.

  11. Why'd you stop your delightful writing? *sigh* Okay, please have a look at my blog... trying to pick things up and be a regular :)


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