Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Kenyans must come together to save Mau Forest even if it means giving Daniel arap Moi more tea

We returned to a sodden Nairobi last night which made it a tad better for my arthritic knee after arctic Britain. I see that ex-President Moi has been bolstering his 'impeccable' elder-statesman credentials with his unhelpful brand of science expounding how scarring swathes of Mau Forest Complex with tea plantations has not contributed to any detrimental effects on this crucial water tower. And a member of his erstwhile government William Ole Ntimama has joined the fray claiming to have allocated the forest land under duress. He’s conveniently invoking the principle of following orders (Nuremberg Defense-style) because I know wily Bill Ole Ntimama is no one’s fool.

You can say teetotaller Moi and Ntimama are like frequent whisky- mixed- with- red-wine hangovers; they just get worse and dangerous with age. Scientific fact coming up: More congeners in dark-coloured drinks will give you monster hangovers.

Moi in his trademark raspy voice and toting a silver-tipped ivory baton likes to cloak himself as a traditionalist and a staunch Christian. Who can forget him in the 90’s striking out viperously against homosexuality terming it unAfrican and unChristian? In order to be respected, authority has got to be respectable (Tom Robbins, much respect), unfortunately most of what we remember about Moi is how he, his family and cronies were implicated in many sophisticated corruption scandals of unforgivable proportions. I doubt he has the sense God gave the crocodiles on the Mara River (when they lie waiting for wildebeeste) to draw less attention to himself.

I’m 99.99% certain he’ll now be at the front of the queue; cap in hand, chasing a bumper compensation for dubiously acquired property. Let’s just pay him off and hope it buys him sleep in his sunset years.


  1. You know I keep wondering why the hell he would need the compensation for! What remained when he was in power was to drink peoples blood, kunyonya damu na uko hai, I mean he took everything, can't believe such greed. He is so hungry and he's got like to seconds to live.

    Happy new year.

  2. You do yourself injustice when you introduce politics to this blog. Some of us prefer the Moi government to the present one, atleast his government was not as tribalistic as the present tone and everybody got to eat, not just a few like today,inflation was managable, our borders were more secure and there was the redyklas show thatmade us laugh at him and he at himself without fear of being raided at night by the Attur brothers.

  3. Hi Haute Haiku,

    Maybe he's discovered a way of taking all that loot with him when he goes.
    Happy new year to you too. xx x

    Hi Anon,

    Politics is too important to be left to politicians; gay folk also have a the right to express our opinions on these matters that affect us all. You appear too eager to have us forget that Kenya was once a police state where arbitrary arrests and detentions were the order of the day.

    Happy 2010 and lets hope things will change for the better. Have a lovely evening. xx xx


Hey you, leave a comment but don't just be an asshole about it - try to be decent. That said you are welcome to heap abuse or ridicule if it makes you feel better. However in order to get published it must not be homophobic, racist or sexist. OK?