Wednesday, February 10, 2010


I was up late last night thinking about all the hullabaloo surrounding safety issues and Toyota. I’m sure it’s all one conspiracy to try and resuscitate America’s auto industry, but it may backfire because the Toyota brand has already seeped deep into people’s consciousness. I love Toyota cars even though I’ve never owned one myself. If you can guess correctly what car I drive, I swear I’ll come over personally and tickle you until you cry please, please Tamaku stop but I won’t stop until you pee on yourself, lol! However I detest those models that look like freestanding wardrobes on wheels, here I’m talking about Toyota Voxy and it’s ungainly cousin Toyota Noah. Sorry but it’s very easy to confuse one of these in the hazy Nairobi traffic with a pregnant Zebu cow. Not too sexy unless you’re a farmer’s wife called Mrs Noah who’s getting ready to go on a cruise (speaking of which, does anyone know what her real name was please, I promise I won’t come and tickle you unless you want me to).

My wonderful George, who is now sitting at my feet on the floor watching a good bootleg copy of City of God as I type this (oh, the irony), is like a Lexus LS460 with heated leather seats, warm and a joy to cuddle but he can make your ass sweat when he’s in the mood. I think I’d say I’m more like the 'humble’ Avensis, good thrust when needed and with a decent trunk which shuts well, lol! Which reminds me - George wrongly says I like to wield power around here. I don’t know whatever gave him that impression but I don’t mind so long as he does what he’s told. And forget all that nonsense about gays having faulty 'brakes', take it from me nothing wrong with our 'brakes' after many miles on the clock never had even one skidmark

Ok, mmmmm, now let’s see if I can pick on a couple of lovely fellow bloggers and pair them with a suitable model of Toyota: In my mind I think Shiko-Msa is like a red Toyota Solara with the top down cruising through Mama Ngina Drive on a hot afternoon, classy and interesting ;) while Rox is like a canary-yellow Toyota Supra in 17-inch gunmetal rims and tinted windows, distinctive and fun (NOT a euphemism for easy by the way, hehehehehe. Dear sweetie, Rox, darling, sugar, honey please don’t hit me). Let me stop there before I get myself in more trouble than I already am. Hahahaha…


  1. Tamaku wewe muongo ati hujapata skid mark hata mara moja?Nani kasema ni makuchu peke wa skid?

  2. Hehehe. Am back n i know u missed me. Am thinking a european coupé or sedan. Just a guess...

  3. Sema Anon,

    Aki imagine sijawahi pata skidmark, lakini siwezi ku-prove nafikiria wewe unataka nikushow tu!! xxxx

    Hey NF,

    Welcome back, much missed honey! Your guess is close, but no cigar. xxx

  4. What about Toyaota Vitz Tamaku? Looks like a cross breed of a rabbit and a rat. And am almost certain the driver behind a vitz has less than 3 years experience. How many 'years' of 'experience' do you have?

  5. Hi Paulo,

    Well you've just gone and insulted all those lovely young gals who visit here that you might have wanted to date with your Vitz slur! (Assuming you're straight??)

    No I don't drive a Vitz but they are nifty & safe town cars and if you need to drink-drive (DON'T) from Westlands to Nairobi West you won't be able to reach 60 kph!

    I've got many 'years' experience but you know 'experience' here doesn't count for much, just check how matatu drivers behave! I think it's down to where one got their 'licence' - me? I got mine in 1983 in the shower room in boarding school ;))

    Also can I say that I'm a good 'worker', I don't need any supervision (such as little blue pills) because I always rise to the occasion and I have excellent 'references'...

    Now get me that job, please, seeing as I've typed this on my phone while in a restaurant with George ;) xxxx

  6. Tamaku, now you want to be both jobless and DEAD? Why are you trying to turn me into a murderer surely?..... Aki you are so like my boss when it comes to putting your foot in your mouth. You start out so well then midway...... You are in so much trouble, but I'll drop you an email soon or better yet do a post on you? lol........ Still got mad love, Mwaaaaaahh


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