Baby Matthew has arrived

Hello people, a lot has happened lately. I haven’t just been lazy and absent from the blog without good reason nor have I been away in Uganda to see mountain gorillas although that’s one of my Top Ten Things To Do Before I Die. Recently I changed the look just to give the blog a brighter look. I hope you tell me that you likey likey. My friend Sheila had her first baby two Mondays ago, a boy who premiered in at a whopping 5 kilos. I applaud Sheila who like many other women decided to keep the baby even when it’s father did a Houdini the second she announced the pregnancy. Long story for another day. When I arrived late in the evening at the hospital  I found the actual  drama was already underway and the smiling Kenyan nazi at reception said I was not allowed in to see my friend. So I spent a chilly night at a nearby hotel till the next the morning.  George was on the phone to me until I fell asleep because he knows just how attached I am to my pal. Well, I can’t even start to tell you  just how overwhelming it was to meet my latest godson, something powerful and heart-warming tugged deep inside me that I actually shed tears. 

When I spoke to a sleepy Sheila I asked her whether childbirth had been as painful as having a battalion of safari ants chewing away at her privates. She bit hard on her lower lip slowly shaking her head: ‘Tamaku?’

I said, ‘Yes?’

She continued: ‘You know the pain you feel when you shit a fat del monte pineapple from Thika?’ My eyes watered as I nodded because I could imagine it was no walk in the park.  ‘Yes Sheila, I can appreciate that…’

She laughed wryly and cut me short: ‘No Tam. I’ve got news for you and all the men out there. You need to imagine having that whole pineapple shoved up back inside you and then yanked out. Times 100. Hehe, giving birth is no joke but looking at my son now I can say it has all been worth it.’

I went silent  and started sweating just thinking about the generosity of all the women across the world who choose motherhood. On behalf of all men folk let me say we will never be able to repay you, thank you so much mums.

A day later I got Sheila and beautiful baby Matthew back home and I’ve been spending a lot of enjoyable time at their flat. The other day when Sheila was breastfeeding her son she said to me I never thought that one day I’d be showing you my boobs Tamaku, and thanks so much for being here for us both. I smiled and said it’s the least that I should do and don’t worry about the nipples that Matt is sucking on because if all people  felt at ease with themselves and didn't  bother to cover their dolly partons then the global economic downturn would never have happened. It's the simple things that give joy.

Happy days indeed, even the endless changing of diapers and getting baby sick down inside my shirt when I burp him over my shoulder. This is bliss.