Thank you Santa but this is what I really wanted for Christmas

Hello diary. Christmas here in Surrey was lovely. And extremely cold too. We spent the day with my brother Timmy, his wife Claudia and my two nephews who also brought girlfriends along. I won’t forget to mention the adorable two border collie dogs Stupid and Sharp. The issue of George has long been ironed out since our first visit here together. To be fair Timmy is one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet - amiable and funny especially when he’s had a drink, my gayness was never going to come between us. He’s also very intelligent and with an acute sense of ethics which is why I wonder what he’s still doing in the pharmaceutical industry.

Everyone got on like a house on fire but somehow George and I still struggled in the freezing temps. The house is heated to 25 degrees C and there’s even under-floor heating downstairs. To cap it all Claudia had an electric blanket rolled out on our double bed. During the long weekend we stayed mostly indoors and only went out twice during the day to the nearby park to walk the dogs. I got a Shoei helmet from Timmy and Claudia while George gave me a leather-riding jacket. They must have been communicating secretly during the year after I said to George I want to start riding bikes again. We gave my relatives wooden African wall masks for their conservatory and I forked out a small fortune in cash for my nephews who are both heading for a skiing holiday tomorrow. To George I gifted a t-bar necklace in white gold. He says he loves it almost as much as he loves me.

Boxing Day afternoon I called Imelda who was away spending the holiday with her mum and her son. She was having a brilliant time frolicking in sunny Nairobi. I said you know what I’d really want right now, I wish you’d have knitted me a cock warmer because England is so cold. She laughed and said eh Tam, I’ve knitted many weird things before but that would be a first! Anyway Imelda being Imelda said, I’ll start knitting one for you right now which you can use during the wintry days here in July but you need to tell me what size your cock is. So I said take a guess but remember you’re due a salary increase soon. So she generously said, ‘Let me make it seven inches then you’ll be all warm and snug.'

I answered dryly, ‘Yes, Imelda at least seven inches flaccid. That’ll do!.' Lol!

We are off

George and I are finally off on our holiday to the UK. We are quaffing champagne very nicely on Club World while waiting for the rest of the flight to get boarded. Loving it. Happy holidays all, be safe xxx xx

Conspiracy theories and mango eating

Hey, we are still in Nairobi owing to the travel disruptions at
Heathrow Airport. Luckily we've just been told that we should be away
in the next couple of days. George and I are not complaining – it's so
hot in Nairobi you could fry an egg on my shiny forehead right now.

It's such a sad day for Nairobi after that deadly blast which cost
lives and horrific injuries, my commiserations. Meanwhile I overhead
someone at the sports club last night when the story broke out, saying
it could be the work of anti-Ocampo forces out to 'discourage' the
tenacious Argentine and his human rights' coterie from coming this way
anytime soon. I'm not in the slightest convinced but then again
stranger things have happened in these parts..

Anyway, we've just come back (my bf and I) from a walk to a nearby
kijiji (village) where we stopped for two deliciously juicy mangoes.
Each was as huge as a baby's head and only for 25 shillings. Aaaah,
these days in the sun are pure magic.

This chocolate starfish should be Ocampo's number 7 - Nominations for Kenya Analists Awards 2010

I read the news of one Ms Mugambi's ordeal at the hands of her former employer Booksfirst and the actions of general-manager Ann Randiki with much shock and equal consternation. Read about it here and let me know what you think. Thank God for the wisdom and mercy of a judge who found for the plaintiff. Lately the wheels of justice around here appear to be moving in the right direction. That - in this day and age - anyone in authority can treat an employee in such a crass, unreasonable and dictatorial manner while expecting to get away with it is just beyond me.

Booksfirst urgently needs to clarify the company policy with reference to these nauseating events. They can then proceed to sack the general manager and offer Ms Mugambi that job if at all she wants it. Btw, the Nuremberg Defense is as lame as Mugabe's libido even if his balls were to get tickled from behind all night by one of his sycophants. Uh-huh....which reminds me can someone please tell Mugabe to lose the Hitler-moustache, people might start to think he's a power-crazed despot.

The reported conduct of Ms Randiki can only be summarized as spiteful, malicious, cruel and repugnant. It has done some damage to the Booksfirst brand. Both make the fabulous Meryl Streep in the Devil Wears Prada, which we watched on Friday night TV, appear as meek as Mother Teresa. Therefore I would like to award Ms Randiki and Booksfirst joint Assholes of the Year. Dirty, dirty, vile and evil.

Travel blues

We've just been to the airport only to discover that BA have cancelled tonight's flight from NBO due to adverse weather at LHR.

Nothing much one can do about it if the good pilot doesn't feel like skating a 777 Boeing full of passengers across an icy runway. We managed to get rebooked out tomorrow night but that's also subject to overnight conditions at Heathrow. BTW, BA Nairobi staff could teach KQ check-in crew a thing or two about service with a smile. Aaaargh, the snow fairy is eating into our precious vacation time!! Right now we are ensconced in Maina's cab leaving the airport for home. I guess it's not all bad, another night for George and I in our own bed can only be a good thing. I hope Imelda hasn't got the house full of a raging bash thinking we are already away, lol!