Tuesday, July 6, 2010


This is a new word that I’ve coined to describe a secretly gay man who plays around with women’s emotions by getting them to fall hopelessly in love with him. It’s formed from the Swahili word for homosexual - Basha - and the name of that serial heart-breaker, Casanova. A Bashanova’s actions help him cope with the burdens our conservative society places on his sexuality.

Bashanova-ing involves targeting women by graciously accepting to accompany them on shopping expeditions for devilish lingerie and outfits. He never complains about the time spent waiting outside changing rooms and will never ever say it’s time to go watch Ghana vs Uruguay. Instead he’ll suggest that they enjoy double deep heat treatments and seaweed masks at a spa. Intimate lattes at Dormans after work are standard followed by going back to her place where he’ll conjure up a sumptuous lasagne from scratch before cuddling together on the sofa to watch multiple episodes of Ugly Betty while nibbling on chocolate and sipping icy Baileys. A successful Bashanova is the envy of other men because women want to spend so much time with him from the minute they look into his eyes. Women swear that they can hear the sound of their ovaries pinging like an elevator when he brushes his hands on their hair. Not surprisingly, he also understands that sex is not everything and that true love waits, yada, yada, yada - he might even whisper the L word but only on the phone when he calls to check whether she received the flowers he sent to the office on Monday morning.

I’m sure some of you have also come across these Bashanovas. Sadly a true Bashanova can never be converted although many women will attempt all manner of tricks in a futile attempt to move their relationship to the next level.


  1. Interesting thing, In my 20's, I used to be one of those. I actually believed that if I get the right girl, I could change. So I turned on my charm and my 'girlfriend' was the envy of all. Nothing of course was happening in the bedroom and I threw around the words 'respect' and 'waiting till marriage'. The thing though was I believed my own hype until I woke up! Coming out was a great thing

    Don't be so harsh on the Bashanovas though...they are trying to fit in.

  2. Finally able to comment!!:) Had to reload the page like 5times! Bashanova, ahahahahha! That made me laugh! Sounds familiar though I'm called Casanova*Tut tut*(blowing me own trumpet) Loved this post!

  3. Hey man,

    I've been following your blog for a while now and I must say it's quite something. And it's funny!

    It's a shame how women never catch on to what's going on then again women seem to see what they want to see. It's sadder still that gay men/ bashanovas and straight men aren't that different in that the female always gets the raw deal.

    You're insight into this phenomenon appear to be quite canny. Is this a confession perhaps?

    I'm kidding.

    Keep up the good work and take care.

  4. LOLEST!

    I want a bashanova!!

    Hmm.wait..cdohnio is one? Hmm..

  5. I want one of those too....Can I get two. Only problem is he must be willing to live with my girlfriend and I.......


Hey you, leave a comment but don't just be an asshole about it - try to be decent. That said you are welcome to heap abuse or ridicule if it makes you feel better. However in order to get published it must not be homophobic, racist or sexist. OK?