Shopping list

A couple of weeks ago George and I were in a busy chemist waiting to pay for some shampoo and deodorant when I suddenly said to him in my best imitation loud camp voice, ‘Hey Gee sweerie, don’t forget the KY jelly and condoms!.’ I'm a Scorpio so I do like some danger.

There was pin-drop silence around us and you should have seen the look on George’s face, hehehe. I know he’s going to get his own back soon. I guess it wasn’t helped that I was in my about-town ‘mode magazine’ gear of cropped three-quarter Levi Indigo jeans showing some skin and navel hairs, and a tight carrot-orange top. I knew I was looking hot prancing around like a peahen from the I'm In Miami Trick video. Helloooo....lmfao...

George told me later that he could see the twinkle in my eye through the shades. Thing is everyone around us recovered quickly and just pretended as if we weren’t even there which was nice. Only the cashier looked bemused when I took the wrapped condoms and lube from him (never Vaseline, boys - remember we've had this discussion before), leaving George to pay.

Maybe next time I’ll be acting all coy and ask the shop assistant to recommend a condom brand for, how shall I put it, our kind of action.

I said maybe.

My life with George

People write to ask what it's like to be gay and in love with a man
who loves you back.

All I can say is, it's like if you had the keys to the world's most
exclusive mall and you could have anything that your heart desired.
From the finest clothes to the most luxurious and smoothest
chocolates...ANYTHING all yours.

That's how George makes me feel, every day. I'm so lucky.

Gay man’s biological clock

Last time we identified the first words made by a gay baby. Now I’ve found out that the sound of a gay man’s biological clock dicking ticking is dick, dock…lol!

Have a lovely week folks. I was away in London (yeah, again) last week, just got back on Saturday. Mini post coming soon…

World’s first rotating roundabouts to end Nairobi traffic jams

An engineer friend tells me that the Chinese who are building our roads are going to install cutting edge solar-powered turntable roundabouts designed to end Nairobi’s chronic jams. Basically it works by cars driving onto a stationary roundabout which at the flick of a switch rotates your car smoothly in a clockwise direction. You then drive off at your exit when it stops rotating. Yawn.

I also didn’t believe Sam when he told me this especially as it was while we were enjoying some alcoholic drinks. But you never know, after all we’ve seen electric poles in the middle of roads....

Our father who hurt in heaven (Easter Special)

As I watched the news on the latest abuse scandals engulfing the Catholic Church, I was reminded of an incident I witnessed years ago involving a priest from that boarding school where I also learned how to conceal a weapon. Father John D’anonimasi lived in a flat attached to our boarding house and it was the duty of students to clean his flat on Sunday mornings before Mass because we were constantly getting told that the path of duty was the way to glory (just a ploy to exploit children if you ask me now)

One dewy morning when my turn came and being the keen prayerful lad that I was, I found myself about half an hour early trotting along to Father’s flat. When I got to the door I knocked softly and then noticed that it wasn’t completely shut. I didn’t think anything of it as I let myself quietly in. That’s when I saw the sight that refuses to leave me even now two decades later. Through a mirror in the hallway I spied Father John – who would be saying Mass in just over an hour’s time – standing buck naked, hairy back to me and facing the window with a wtf-is-that-up-his-arse? He was driving the blue marker pen that we used to write announcements on the house noticeboard eewww up and down where it’s dark because the sun never shines aka da butt. And his man boobies had some metallic clamps on the nips weighing them down ouch, ouch but I hear that it’s more about pleasure than pain, hahaha. All I could think of was that must hurt like hell especially the sharp bits of the marker but he was making sounds like he was in heaven already. I froze momentarily and then tiptoed out of there but not before I also snapped an eyeful of balls projected on the wall as shadows the size of large oranges. He hadn’t seen me and to be fair it wasn’t as if I’d caught him perming his eyelashes but I still think the Church needs to revisit the issue of celibacy and whether it’s even relevant.

Now sit back, get the popcorn, keep the tissues close at hand and let’s wait to see what outlandish story Denis shares with us about three nuns, a monk and a strap-on. By the way Denis also has a column here.

Please forgive me father for sometimes I know not what I do when I blog.....Happy Easter folks.



(Pic is of a marker pen that I use on my whiteboard, NOWHERE ELSE ok, lol)