The Games they won’t be showing on TV

2010 Gay Games start tomorrow in Cologne. Will Kenya bag a medal?

Gays in love

Let me tell you about last week. George was off work with a chest infection. I found it difficult to stay focussed with my work , sick with worry. Monday and Tuesday evenings I slipped into my role as nurse, lovingly rubbbing some Vicks on his chest. Mind you just on the chest, lol. Thankfully the good doctor in Upperhill said it was only a mild infection nothing serious but to hear poor George you’d have thought he was at death’s door. So I played along dispensing large doses of Tamaku's 'medicine' - whisky, crushed ginger, honey from Chyulu hills (the honey from there is the best, I think Kenyan gay bees make it) and some lemon with hot water. Aaaaah. Even Imelda says she’s envious of how I spoil him but he’s all I’ve got so I don’t know how else to be.

Wednesday evening we arranged to meet in town after I’d finished work and then we went for a stimulating aromatherapy massage followed by a session in the steambath. It was the two of us and another youngish shy guy who accidentally let his towel slip to give us a flash of his fine nuggets but we weren’t interested. By this time we were both more than horny so we left the club which is off Loita Street and George drove us home fast via Hurlingham for some Chinese takeaway. When we got home it was after 8, we gave the bags of food to Imelda and said go ahead we’ll eat later. Then we went straight upstairs to our room. Boy, I can’t get enough of my guy and the sex is amazing too. Later I came downstairs and made us some bacon sandwiches because we didn’t feel like eating the noodles. Imelda loved them though.

On Thursday I’d promised George we’d go to the sports club for dinner after work but I completely forgot when meetings overrun. I arrived home after 9pm and there was no-one downstairs so I took my dinner from the oven and had it at the table in the kitchen alone. The house was quiet, I knew Imelda was in her annex probably doing some studying for the accountancy course she's doing. The only other light was in the stairwell from upstairs where I knew George was. When I got to the bedroom he was curled up in bed watching a dvd of Singing In the Rain which was almost coming to an end. He didn’t look too pleased and that’s when I remembered oh shit we were supposed to go out! I said I’m so sorry baby sweetie but he was having none of it, he just turned the other way and said turn the lights off when you come to bed.

I was feeling so guilty as I showered but I shouldn’t have been worried because when I slipped inside the warm bed all was forgiven. Believe me, nothing beats naughty-boy sex. The days when I lived alone and regularly came down with wanker’s cramp are well and truly in the past.

Kenyan gay couple wed

I am overjoyed that a gay wedding of Kenyans in London has made the news of the national press. We wish the lucky couple all the best in this new chapter of their lives together. George and I are thinking of the same, to deepen our commitment to one another - even though these unions are not recognised here. It's early days yet but we are determined to have a ceremony to exchange rings and vows witnessed by close friends and family. I'll wear white of course, don't even think to mutter but Tamaku's been around the block a few times unless you are a nun yourself. lol!

We hope you'll accept our invitation when the time comes. Tonight we are just both so happy to raise a glass or two to the newlyweds.

Which is the better cock-a-doodle-doo?

Hi folks,

We've got a new poll! Today I was looking at some of those gay dating sites and one thing that sticks out is how the profiles list 'type of cock', cut or uncut! So I thought I'd ask the burning question: which is the preferred model? Mmmmm, please vote and let's see what's in demand ;)

The poll is at the usual place (on the left).

Shops in Nairobi now stocking better mattresses for gay men

We needed a new mattress for our bed a month or so ago so George and I went shopping. It’s one of those things that could have turned out awkward at the shop for two men trying out a mattress together but I was pleasantly surprised at how things turned out.

The furniture shop was on Mombasa Road where a friendly young guy named Patrick showed us what we were after. He said casually to George, ‘Boss, this will be great for you and your woman’ as his hands pressed down a heavily quilted orthopaedic number. George sat down on one side of the mattress and I followed him rolling from the other side when he dropped the bombshell on the assistant, ‘No, it’s for us!’ And it came as an equal shock to me too the confident way George said it. What struck me even more was that Patrick clearly understood that we were a homosexual couple. He looked at both of us briefly still smiling warmly and nodding then recovered quickly to say, ‘Come let me show you one which is stronger and better if it’s for you two guys to sleep on!!!' Then, 'Hakuna shida' (no problems) followed by a wholly appropriate wink! You could have knocked me down with a feather! For once a stranger who is cool with gays. Wonders never cease in this Nairobi.

It turned out to be a delightful Saturday shopping trip for us. Patrick’s smile and service were indeed exceptional. We ended up getting also a pair of cushions and an exquisite Jali Indian bookcase that I instantly fell in love with for the lounge. George and I both felt special being treated with respect and dignity and not having to lie about who we are to each other, just like any other ordinary couple. Finally we paid for our goods and the shop even threw in free delivery which was very nice. We thanked Patrick for his help and happily left him a handsome tip as we left the shop.

Seems like when you’re paying no one is going to be too bothered, everyone, even gays are welcome with open arms in most places. And charming, chilled guys like Patrick are what make life taste that little bit sweeter.

The struggle for gay rights in East Africa

Rebekah Heacock takes a look at the work of some East African gay bloggers and their supporters in Jackfruity. It’s an interesting read on the challenges facing those who are coming out to spread the word against discrimination based on sexual orientation.

A straight view

I like this one, hope you do too!

Is it gray when you mix black and white?

Jérôme is the lead partner at the firm of architects on the floor directly below our office. I don’t know his name but he looks like a Jérôme to me in his chinos and short-sleeved cotton shirts carrying a well-worn canvas and hide Sandstorm bag. I’ve spotted him secretly spying me through the mirrors’ reflections when we’ve shared a lift on several occasions. My gaydar was stirred but it was at the car park yesterday after work when someone said something which confirmed these doubts.

Actually it was Sheila who pointed out Jérôme who was getting into a Jeep driven by a youngish looking man. She nudged me with her elbow don’t look now but there’s that Belgian with his Kenyan boy! Then claws showing as we watched the Jeep climb out of the basement, ‘these white men are spoiling our young men.’ I couldn’t let this one slip by so I said, ‘Who’s to say they are not equally enjoying whatever it is they are doing together.’ Sheila said nothing just shrugged. She’s a clever girl, steers clear of controversy whenever challenged.

It got me thinking on the way home. This is not the first time I’ve heard the view expressed that the black Kenyan half of an interracial couple is being taken advantage of, or that the ‘foreigner’ is being cheated off his money. Somehow Kenyans in these pairings are seen as calculating but naive gold diggers while their usually white lovers are viewed as lovelorn hapless victims. If you add a substantial age gap to the mix you have a recipe for a potential riot. Is there any truth to these stereotypes?

Thankfully thankful

To my housekeeper Imelda, thanks for last night when you joined us in the lounge to watch Evita as George and I lay cuddling on the couch. Thanks for wanting to share our quality time with us instead of choosing to retreat to your quarters after dinner. I saw how completely at ease you were sitting with us while also knitting that sweater for your beloved son, chatting and laughing. You’ve never shown that repulsion some straight people describe at the sight of two men kissing or being affectionate. You know I love you.

Thanks to the talkative travel agent in the crisp button down blue shirt and matching dark tie for not flinching when we booked the double bed for our upcoming Easter break. I was searching your eyes for the familiar revulsion but you saw my fear and purposely reassured me when you said, ‘It’s a wonderful lodge, you’ll have no problems.’ You understood how much this meant to us.

Finally to the female attendant at that petrol station along Limuru Road on Sunday evening, you noticed George’s hand caressing my knee when you brought my change back to the car. You showered me your dazzling smile as you’ve always done whenever you’ve served me in the past. You are a star.

What are you thankful for?

Kenyans addicted to secret gay sex

I am so tired right now and sleepy. George went out last night alone to Carnivore for Kamba night. He came home at 3.30 in the morning to find me in the lounge drinking my 8th glass of Drostdy-hof red while nodding to R-Kelly Home Alone. George was alot worse for wear when he hi sweetied me; I was so relieved to see him after hours of anxious waiting. God please also answer our prayers for a lot of rain. I thankfully supported my inebriated boyfriend upstairs and put him to bed where he kissed me I love you. Imelda and I spent today administering endless juices and spooning George baby chunks of fruit salads to fight the monster hangover he was suffering. My cherished role as lover-carer gives me so much. G seems fine now, asleep upstairs where I’ll re-join him shortly.

Anyway…some readers have sent me strongly worded emails to say they are opposed to any attempts to decriminalize homosexuality even though they themselves are gay. I deciphered these opinions to be a question as to why anyone would be rocking the boat while life remains perfect for them. Apparently the status quo is preferred and any changes to bring homosexuality to the open would only spoil the fun.

Incredibly it seems that the clamour for gay rights does not have the full support of all gay people. It appears this allure of anonymous or illicit sex that is labelled illegal remains more powerful than the quest for any protections under the law.

Has the law inadvertently spawned a swathe of men addicted to secret gay sex happy to remain that way cushioned in a false sense of security inherent in these arrangements?

A blog with a soul

If you thought my life was interesting then there is a Kenyan blog that you should not miss. It's called In My Own Words.
It is an amazing, humbling and inspirational story. And it’s beautifully told by Pater Nostra. I think of it as a blog with a soul. You might even shed some tears as I did.

Calls to out gay Kenyans

Recently I was shocked to come across a gay forum where someone had written calling for gay Kenyans still in the closet to be outed. The reasoning given was that by remaining hidden, these gays are slowing down the march towards achieving an end to discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. You can breathe easy I do not intend to reveal the name of that site as I am totally against this kind of militant activism on numerous fronts. My reasons are not entirely selfless; I am after all still in the closet.

I find calls for such direct action both insincere and deplorable. These actions would only help to diminish the very rights to freedom of choice and the right to privacy that we ourselves are calling for. It’s inconceivable that intimidation and fear, ironically the very tactics employed by blackmailers, should be used by other gay people. Even in cases where an anti-gay campaigner is identified to be secretly gay I would still defend their right to privacy, as unpalatable as this may seem.

My view is that these basic freedoms should not be applied nor enjoyed selectively.

Looking Gay

Judge I’m guilty as charged. I confess to loving nice things and looking good. It doesn’t stop there; my bathroom routine is nothing short of epic from exfoliating to moisturizing to unnecessary fortnightly trips to the cute barber along Kimathi Street. My colleague Sheila moans that I give her unfair competition when we speak at client presentations.

In the bars of Nairobi closeted gay men stand out like flashing neon signs in their designer jeans, trendy tops and ruggedly chic boots. Working out at the gym is ofcourse the gay man’s other religion. You can even spot the senior queens turned out immaculately in bespoke tailored jackets and shirts, tapping the soles of shoes that whisper sophistication and good taste. In their wake hangs the hazy seduction of signature colognes.

Am I alone in thinking that many gay men come with a higher degree of vanity?

Obama to sign gay rights declaration

In a straight reversal of the Bush administration's policy, President Barack Obama will sign the non-legally binding United Nations declaration advocating for the decriminalization of homosexuality. By signing the document submitted by France in December 2008, President Obama wants to demonstrate his commitment to the wide spectrum of human rights. It is a significant positive step for gay rights worldwide. Unfortunately Kenya remains a signatory to the opposing statement.

Human rights groups report that homosexuality is still outlawed by more than 85 countries and that it is punishable by death in several Islamic states, including Afghanistan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Sudan and Yemen. I am running a poll (to the left side of this blog) asking whether Kenya should decriminalize homosexuality. Please leave a comment to let others know what you think.

Yours truly even gets a mention.

VIP clients of the gay Kenyan

Secrets of gay Kenyans exposed. This is about men who pay money to have sex with other men. Homosexuality remains an aspect of our society that is despised and whose existence is often denied. I stumbled upon this account of a male sex worker and the clients claimed to include politicians and religious leaders in Kenya.

It’s here.

Secretly living with my man

Sheila remarked the other day at work that I appear suspiciously happy. I privately took her accusation as a compliment to my new life with George but lied to her smiling sweetly 'it’s the way I’ve always been', and then made a point to be rude to her at least twice that day. I know women have a sixth sense that's sharper than a serpent’s tooth. I still can’t let people get too close as my secret has now become bigger and more expensive.

My gay life is going very well at the moment, thanks for asking. George returned back to work on Monday. He leaves the compound at the ungodly hour of 6:15 to hitch a lift from the security company’s van that patrols our estate to the main road; I find it odd when he gets out of bed one hour before I do to get ready for the day. Strange how quickly the habit of a lover’s warm embrace is easily formed; it’s as if we always lived together. I think he’s also fallen in love with Imelda, my keeper of secrets and a house. Lying in bed I jealously strain to hear the pair of them laughing and talking in the dining room downstairs as George has his breakfast. Imelda told me the house now feels alive with good spirits.

I caught my reflection in the glass doors to the building where I work, a noticeable lightness to my step; surely life before George was so predictable. It’s wonderful to have someone to think about and care for; we share at least three telephone calls during the day to plan with George what to have for dinner and which movie to watch. I’m the guy singing in the car and merrily letting you go through amidst the chaotic Nairobi traffic! Life can be so sweet indeed; take my word for it also on the undivulgable details. Nothing beats going home to a man that you love and who loves you back.

Poll: Should we decriminalize homosexuality in Kenya?

The law in Kenya criminalizes homosexual behaviour and attempted homosexual behaviour between men, which is referred to as "carnal knowledge against the order of nature". The penalty is 5 to 14 years' imprisonment. The age of consent is 16. Lesbian relations are not prohibited in the law.

So the questions I would like to ask are: Are you a gay Kenyan? What are your views. Or as a straight Kenyan do you think Kenya should continue to criminalize homosexuality? Take the poll and let’s see what people think.